No One was “Worst Dressed” on the Golden Globes Red Carpet!

(But this is a slideshow of those who were best-dressed)

01.08.17

The red carpet at the 74th Golden Globes was so spectacularly boring that I could not have been happier. It was like meeting up with your best friend out at a bar without having a conversation about what you two planned to wear and yet you both adhered to the same very casual/no heels memo.

First and foremost, it is January 8th, which is a Sunday. This is a day of rest following a busy first week back! No one had a calm month of December, either. Every single person had an end-of-holidays social media post like “I need a vacation after that vacation.” Well I need a year after that year. I need a damn minute to chill.

Viola Davis (Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images)

Looking so good, Viola Davis 

My heart simply could not have handled the fashion equivalent of gothic architecture this evening. Hell no to rococo. My heart needed soft curves, bay windows. Rounded edges. Flattering chiffon. Rihanna, thank god you did not attend because I needed a nap. A palette cleanser for the post-season of paillettes and glitter. I would not have been prepared for Met Gala level couture — there is a reason all of that waits until May and Fashion Week doesn’t begin until mid-February. It’s not the time yet.

Thandie Newton (Photo by Venturelli/WireImage via Getty Images)

The outside of Westworld looks great on you, Thandie Newton

Sometimes you want to look at a red carpet from the safety of your couch in your pajamas with your Thai food and your airplane socks and you want to be able to know definitively whether or not you like a dress — you can’t be questioning your personal taste versus that of a designer’s genius! Was the outfit appealing, yes or no? Easy. Easy like Sunday night! I am nursing a hangover, after all, not hosting a Ted Talk on the evolution of Kerry Washington’s brilliant style.

Kerry Washington (Photo by Steve Granitz/WireImage via Getty Images)

Kerry Washington in Dolce & Gabbana couture 

Thank god for the #AskHerMore movement. I want to pick up a few points about the movies I feel like I don’t know enough about, catch up on these celebrities’ lives and get a little “behind the scenes” info. Then I want to point my finger at the clothes on the television [to my roommate or no one depending on if he’s in the bathroom or ignoring me: “Oo, I like that one!” “That one, meh.”] And then I want to move on! Am I alone?

Octavia Spencer and Evan Rachel Wood both wore custom tuxedos instead of dresses. (Octavia’s was by Laura Basci, Evan Rachel Wood’s by Altuzarra.) They both looked amazing. And ooh, pants! Very edgy. Except it wasn’t. I loved what Wood said. It was something along the (very paraphrased) lines of, “I wanted to show young women that wearing a dress wasn’t the only option, but this isn’t a statement. I liked the tux.” Then she cited Lauren Bacall, Victor/Victoria and David Bowie (tonight would have been his birthday) as inspiration.

octavia-williams-evan-rachel-wood-man-repeller

Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzarra, Octavia Spencer in Laura Basci

Perhaps more refreshing than tuxedo itself was Wood’s attitude about it: It wasn’t this giant fashion extravaganza or political statement. It just was.

So as for those boring red carpet dresses that tend to really offend all who tuned in for a wild show, there you go. Maybe these stars all showed up to the bar with the same mindset: Award Show Casual.

Or look at it this way! They’re just warming up!

Get more Fashion ?
  • rachel

    While I don’t love the double breasted tux (sorry Ryan!), the ladies in tuxes really brought it and they look amazing. Also a big fan of Amy Adams– bringing the glitz into the new year in a minimal, understated way.

    • rachel

      Oh and how could I forget Ruth Negga?? Bringing the glitz into 2017 with no shame and I love it even more than the Amy’s minimal option. It’s not normally my kind of thing but the details are just so perfect! I also have a soft spot for things with zippers 🙂

  • Andrea Raymer

    Can I just be Claire Foy? Her dress was perfect and dressing up like the Queen is one of my favorite hobbies.

  • AryaChic

    I usually love when actresses wear tuxedos but these weren’t impressive IMO. Completely agree with your other picks!
    Check out mine – http://www.aryachic.com/2017-golden-globes-report-card

  • Alexandra Darlau

    Where’s Lola Kirke??? Seriously…she slayed

  • We’ve just had a whole office analysis of the best dressed!

    – Natalie
    http://www.workovereasy.com

  • Bee

    Lily Collins is always my favorite. She gets it every time!

    Briana
    http://www.youngsophisticate.com

  • CJ

    Love the women in tuxedos. That last caption should be Octavia Spencer, not Williams (looks as though her name is correct elsewhere in the piece).

    • Amelia Diamond

      thank you! weird captioning

    • Me too, but I think that sometimes it is hard to make them a bit more girly

  • YouandWhoseArmy

    I love a well-tailored tux on a woman, but I feel like Wood’s veered into costume-y territory with that giant bow-tie thing. Spencer’s was a win.

    Zoe Saldana’s dress reminds me of when the ugly stepsisters rip Cinderella’s dress to shreds in the Disney cartoon, Chrissy Teigan needed a better bra, and Nicole Kidman looks like the ghost of a haunted pirate ship circa 1895.

  • Hailee Steinfeld, Lilly Collins, and Drew Barrymore look like something out of a dream–whimsical and ethereal–a lovely feminine silhouette. Also, no one except Emily R can pull off that dress.

  • Lilli

    Octavia Spencer & Kerry Washington. THAT IS ALL!

  • Bria

    Ruth Negga, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Emma Stone killed, imo.

  • Katy

    I still can’t get over Hailee Steinfeld’s Vera Wang. It’s an absolute dream.

  • Octavia Spencer. I just felt that outfit.

  • Eva

    Did you miss Catriona Balfe in Delpozo? Tsk tsk.

  • Gwyn

    can’t believe olivia culpo didn’t make the slideshow!! she and ruth negga looked the best imo