I Dressed Like Kim Kardashian for a Week

OMG don’t I look like her???

01.18.17

Perhaps it was inevitable that I’d commit to single-color dressing at some point. Based on the frequency of unsolicited comments (not compliments) I get on a given day, I’ve sort of taken up neutral, monochrome dressing as part of my personal brand. I’m sure all the executives invested in my brand were thrilled I finally pinned this down.

It didn’t dawn on me, though, that I was really just copying Yeezy-era Kim Kardashian until a few weeks ago when I was wearing some combination of beige-y whatever and my editor Leslie told me I looked like Kim Kardashian. She was totally right. I looked like this photo, if this photo was one person who lived in Bushwick and had no staff:

Later that same day, Maria from our imagery team told me she couldn’t believe I owned so much beige clothing (note again: comments, not compliments), which prompted someone else to echo that it was akin to “Band-Aid dressing.” Remember the Band-Aid trend?! ‘Twas a Kim K thing, 4 sure.

It was at this point that it seemed only reasonable that I should commit to this. Give monochrome dressing a real whirl. Thus ensued the Kim Kardashian Diet. One week of solid-color dressing, as best as my wardrobe would allow. Here’s how it went.

Monday: The Canadian tux

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Madewell shirt, vintage Levi’s jeans and jacket, bandana, ASOS boots

You may have caught me donning this getup on Man Repeller’s Instagram Story last week. This was a bit of a soft-launch, I’ll admit. I’m very comfortable in a full denim ‘fit, even if it’s kind of 2014, which is consequently when I bought this shirt from Madewell (it has a tear in the shoulder).

The big takeaway here was I need a denim turtleneck. I had to make one out of a bandana, which actually worked okay!

Tuesday: A cornucopia of camel

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Jesse Kamm pants, ASOS sweater, Zara coat, Madewell shoesZenni glasses

This I could have saved for a finale, because LOOK HOW CAMEL. In fact, I think it was this very pant/sweater combo that prompted the inaugural Kim K comparison. (I believe that was also the same day Harling caught me microwaving butternut squash soup and made me pose for a very yellow photo.) (Love my fans.) This time I added the jacket, because holy shit, it’s an exact match.

The shoes I hated, but I was dedicated. (See slideshow for more pix.) Also, these pants need an iron like I need more camel. But who owns an iron?

Wednesday: A great beige

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Opening Ceremony shirt, J.Crew turtleneck, Loft silk scarf, vintage Levi’s, vintage jacket — another here, vintage boots — similar style here, Zenni glasses

The day I wore all beige and white clothing was the only day of the week (in a month) that it rained!!!!!! This was actually worse news for my hair, since it’s not supposed to get wet post-Keratin treatment (that’s why it’s freakishly straight this week, to the two people that noticed) and I didn’t have a hood or umbrella. 🙂 🙂 🙂

I did feel pretty Kim in this one, though. How chic is it to wear all white in the rain? Such a bold move.

Thursday: Gray goose

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NEED coatJ.Crew turtleneck, & Other Stories sweater, COS trousers, Zara sneakers, Topman hat (I have a big head and have to wear men’s hats)

Omg, I’m such a goose in this photo! Jk, I just really wanted to use that as a title. This day was fun because I knew I had a ton of gray in my arsenal. I wear a lot of it. Seven gray items! This was the day I got the most looks on the subway. I wasn’t too mad about it.

Friday: The 13th!!!

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H&M coat, & Other Stories sweater, Aritzia pants, Zara boots

This was curiously the day during which I felt the most unlike myself, despite all black being a classic New York lewk. I also got more compliments on this day than any other (more than just comments!) which I will not read into too deeply. (K now I’m panicking.) I will say it was fitting for Friday the 13th (spooky!) and I felt pretty chic, actually. My swinging coat even felt a little reminiscent of a Kim K walking candid, if everyone in my vicinity squinted their eyes to near-closed.

All in all, I really enjoyed wearing all one color. Ascribing to such a strict rule took an incredible amount of guesswork out of getting dressed and forced me to pair things I normally wouldn’t have. Monochrome outfits, when taken to the extreme, also have the benefit of feeling kind of unexpected. The fun is built right in!!!! Give it a go, I say. And DM me the results.

Just beware of the paps. I couldn’t get a thing done last week without being swarmed.

Photos by Krista Anna Lewis. Kardashian Family Photo via Getty Images.

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