IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: The New Emojis Are Here!

Exciting, fresh ways to not use our words

12.13.16
new-apple-emojis-2016-man-repeller-feature

If you’re avoiding the news right now to temporarily preserve your sanity, allow me to keep you abreast of the hard-hitting stuff: Apple released hundreds of new emojis yesterday in iOS 10.2, thus changing the way we’ll communicate forever. For example:

new apple emojis man repeller

There’s a high-fidelity potato and so much more to unpack here. Please go update your phone and then come back because I’m going to need you to follow along IRL.

First and foremost, we have our gender and race-progressive emoji additions:

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-11-08-20-am

A firewoman! Can you imagine? I’m planning to use that top left one next time I’m cooking up a devious plan because look at that mysterious green liquid. It’s important to note all careerist emojis remain doe-eyed and innocent-looking — a mark of a far more pure and warmhearted society than our own.

Next, we have our cultural touchstones:

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-11-12-03-am

Super confused people, for one. Harambe (RIP), a liar (lying is so hot right now), an askew pita sandwich (this world is crazy!), a person laughing and crying at an existentially chaotic angle.

Remember last month when someone leaked the new peach emoji, revealing it would look less like a butt, and the world panicked? That was November 1st, a more innocent time. Two weeks later Apple responded and was like, “Omg, we’re so sorry. Nvm.” And they changed it back. This is democracy.

And now, on to the most relevant additions (I’m sorry to have wasted your time on anything less):

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-11-18-20-am

A man in goggles committing a soccer penalty (or whatever), a clown (for when you’re feeling happy and murderous!), a pregnant woman (a new way to announce pregnancy or that you’ve overeaten) and, most importantly, our gorgeous Pantone color of the year, seconds from vomiting.

Then we have some important reactionary content:

screen-shot-2016-12-13-at-11-31-09-am

Such as this severed arm taking a selfie (do we even exist?), a face palm (general preparation for 2017), a curiously detailed rhinoceros (for when someone asks you a hard question and you don’t want to answer) and a more efficient way to drunk text. Plus, a blue butterfly for alternative tween Instagram bios.

There’s also an avocado, two strips of bacon, a croissant, paella, a kiwi, peanuts, champagne and salad. Useful for theoretical discussions and lazy Venmo descriptions alike.

There is so much to say in 2017. Thank goodness we won’t have to use actual words. Tell me your new favorites!

Get more Pop Culture ?
  • Samantha Lee

    Honestly, I only feel left out being an Android user when it comes to emojis. I legit just learned how to use them on Instagram, AND MY LIFE HAS CHANGED FOREVER.
    http://www.wonderlandsam.com

  • These are perfect! x

    Jessica — NinetyCo

  • Kate

    FINALLY there’s a face palm emoji. So sad how many times I must type out *face palm* when texting…

  • sick! I have needed a sick face in the past, and I always have to settle for needle dripping blood and pills (which makes me look more like “I have a drug problem” than “I had some questionable sushi”).

  • Blown away. The severed arm selfie is so meta.

  • Al

    Am I the only one out there who REALLY needed the drooling one?

    • Amy Brumbpo Tungus

      Hangover reaction emoji

  • Charlotte Dallin

    “and, most importantly, our gorgeous Pantone color of the year, seconds from vomiting.” I’m going to call that little guy ‘Pukey Pantone’ from here on out.

  • MartaD

    Loving this! 😀 (they should do a “pinky promise” emoji too, though!!)

  • sweetlooweeze

    The black heart the rainbow and the dying rose are my faves . Also love the meteor the detached destinations like highway mountain etc

  • lily

    THERE IS NO RED HAIRED EMOJI. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE. I AM NOT BLONDE OR BRUNETTE. I AM RED HAIRED. WHO AM I

  • Tee

    The clown has red hair…….