Sienna Miller Looks So Damn Good All the Time, Does Not Like Avocado
11.16.16

SIENNA!!!!!!! You are so g-dang cool. I don’t know if you know this, but like three weeks ago I was walking down Sixth Avenue and noticed you sitting on a bench outside a coffee shop near 10th street and I looked over and wondered how you got your hair to look like that, and why those round-frame sunglasses looked so good on your face but would probably never look the same across my face and then I looked down at your feet to notice fur-lined Gucci loafers, which looked so new and not overplayed at all. In doing so, I also caught a glimpse of this big Proenza Schouler duffle thing you were holding, which I really wanted to hold, too (this in spite of my having renounced handbags). I didn’t realize it was you until I turned the block and walked back around to catch a second glimpse and take a few more mental notes and then boom! It hit me like a ton of bricks. Why in the good name of British fringe have we never done a Rules of Style on Sienna Miller?

Lucky for us, there you were — or rather, here you are, in New York, promoting that neat new film you shot with Burberry, so we got to talk to you! We really got to know you. And now, people of Man Repeller, here are several important life lessons as gleaned from Sienna Miller.

1. She ate scrambled eggs with Parmesan cheese and half an English muffin and Bovril for breakfast on Monday morning. (Bovril is a beef stock spread. “It’s really war time,” says Miller.) She also ate some of her kid’s apple, which is so funny, perhaps only to me, because if she were Gwyneth Paltrow that might mean she physically ate some of her child.

2. She likes to fly with a soft blanket. This could be a shawl or a wrap. She is not picky.

3. She thinks every woman should own a beautiful pair of pajamas, with which I could not agree more. It is fortuitous that Burberry dedicated an entire Fall collection to recreational sleepwear, but I will not let this slip under the rug.

4. She will color her hair anywhere! Anywhere is a direct quote. So is, “I’m not precious about it because I have way too much hair, and the more it breaks and falls out the happier I am.” I feel the same way, but I also look like me.

5. She sympathizes with the most common female conundrum, re: “Should I get bangs?” Says the most lovely woman on earth to interview, “My whole life is spent cutting fringes and growing them out. I love it for a week and then I’m like ‘ugh.’ I’ll never learn.”

6. She likes to take a cup of tea to bed. I’ve never tried this, but I’ll do it tonight.

8. Among other things she likes to do at night: avoid screens. To hell with social media! Right?

7. Most recently, she read the book Sapiens by Yuval Noah Harari, “which is a really interesting and intelligible look at humankind. He makes what should be immensely complex understandable.”

7a. She keeps The Easy Way to Stop Smoking by her bed, too.

9. On the topic of self-care: manicures, baths, walks. “I might be a little bit still. I like to limit the screen phone time. I like to write letters.”

10. She is happiest in athleisure’s most compelling case for competition, a leotard. This one is very important. “I will forever be happiest in a leotard and tights, and will often just run around my house wearing just tights and a leotard. I basically want to be in some kind of dance outfit constantly.”

11. “Rocket Man” is her song of choice while in the stadium that is her shower.

12. On curious aversions, at which most other people will no doubt scratch their heads: SHE DOESN’T LOVE AVOCADO. (I am sure she is a fan of The Avocado Theory, though.)

13. And re: the beauty products she uses? Dr. Hauschka hand cream (alternative headline could have been, “Feel Like Sienna Miller From the Tips of Your Fingers to The Palms of Your Hands,” but I’m trying to sound less creepy about how much I love her), Baume de Rose by By Terry, Burberry’s contour stick (“If I could only use one product, this would be it,”), and Heliocare, a tinted SPF that is factor 50.

Do you feel connected or what?

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