Market Report: Shoes to Break the Glass Ceiling

Seven pairs of fancy footwork to walk all over the haters and naysayers

11.08.16

Greek people have had it right all along, breaking plates!

They know the satisfaction of smashing porcelain against a floor. It’s like a pumpkin, but better. It’s like pushing a handful of Doritos into your mouth because it’s Sunday, motherfucker.

Jewish people know what’s up, too, just stomping the shit out of a lightbulb in a satin sack 100 times (takes longer than you’d expect) until it pops like the flash in a 1940s paparazzi camera.

Russians! Per a legend regarding a miscommunication and a Tsar, Russians will sometimes break shot glasses to celebrate.

But breaking these glass ceilings, man, is a female-specific tradition. They are metaphorical piñatas waiting to be split in half by our metaphorical bats. They are the bag of ice that we have the honor of throwing down and smashing so that everyone can scoop the ice bits up in their Solo cups. They are ours to kick so that they break like karate boards.

KA-POW!!

Which means we need some serious shoes.  Shoes to shatter limits, destroy restrictions and splinter hushes. Right?

RIGHT.

Now slip ’em on and strap your feet in. You can’t go barefoot in this house anymore — there’s glass all over the damn floor!

Photos by Krista Anna Lewis; creative direction by Emily Zirimis and Elizabeth Tamkin.

Get more Fashion ?