17 Women Describe Losing Their Virginity Via Haiku

The results are the pinnacle of modern art.

10.06.16

I might be offended by the negative connotation of the expression “losing one’s virginity” if I thought a more positive one was remotely appropriate. As a rule, the first time is almost always terrible. If yours wasn’t, consider me mad at you. Sex might be a primal urge, sure, but almost nothing about it feels instinctual when you’re bone-shakingly nervous and armed with little more than that one scene from Titanic. Or maybe you’re drunk and armed with porn, but it’s all kind of the same, isn’t it? That is to say: significantly less romantic than almost every movie would have you believe. But also kind of funny, particularly in hindsight and provided it’s not traumatic.

We asked 17 of our friends to describe their first time to us, but we asked them to do it via haiku. Because why not look for poetry in your probably very embarrassing entry-point into sexual activity? Click through above and then please, if you’re comfortable, woo us with your own in the comments. It would make our whole entire day.

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.

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