I recently impulse-purchased a Carven halter top (on sale!) thinking it would transform my summer outfits and give me the ’60s teen vibe I associate with summers spent in the midwest. It wasn’t until I finished ripping open the brown cardboard box that I realized I had written off halter tops around my 11th birthday as no longer being “appropriate” for my body. There were only okay on my small-chested friends.
But instead of returning this new teeny tiny piece of cloth, I decided to challenge myself on the internet. This might just be the most scared I’ve been in terms of wearing clothes in public. What if a boob fell out! What if a back roll was very much on display? There was only one way to find out.
The Put It Over a T-Shirt Because the 90s Will Always Be Cool Way
Maybe photographing Leandra in a see-through bikini top over a t-shirt left some subliminal desire for fake bras over clothing, but I honestly don’t care. It’s fun! And this guy is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a literal boob swing. All of a sudden my casual hot summer day look felt like a party. Couldn’t you see this on Kate Moss in ’94? No? Just me?
The Impulse Nostalgia Buy
I blame the print , but online, this little guy seemed like it would be perfection over boobs. The ’60s summertime vibe didn’t hurt my itchy fingers either, so I decided to kind of be a rebel and add some high waist flared pants and stoner sunglasses to really get into the summer of love vibe.
While I’m still getting used to the levels of side boob on display in this top, having it made out of thick cotton denim helped me (mentally) get over feeling naked in the back. But walking down the street in this proved what I always knew to be true: that wearing backless tops is way more comfortable in suffocating summer heat.
Would wear again; 10/10 experience.
The Deep V
This bodysuit was appealing in large part for its strong Kylie Jenner vibe, but once I got it on with a pair of jeans, I remembered she’s not a personal style icon of mine. Easy to forget these days! It was both empowering and a little weird to display so much cleavage in public. The stretchy bodysuit made me feel SO confident, but I also felt totally normal. Like I would wear this every weekend and be feeling myself, but casually.
Verdict: halter tops are 100% “appropriate” for big boobs. What does that word even mean? So go forth and prosper with a breeze on your back, and your under-boob sweat nicely concealed.
Photographed by Elizabeth Tamkin; styled by Krista Anna Lewis, market research by Elizabeth Tamkin.