Five Days of the Same Denim Shorts

Jean shorts don’t need to be washed! What are you?

08.22.16

What’s your bottom line? I mean, at what point do you allow yourself to admit that maybe, just maybe, your hair needs to be washed. That the litter box desperately needs to be changed. That it is time to mobilize because Netflix now just assumes that fuck yes, you’re still watching. I ask because I genuinely want to know. And because in writing this piece, I realized that not only have I worn the same pair of denim shorts for five days, I’ve worn the same pair of denim shorts for the entire month of June. And July. And three quarters of August. Here’s the thing though: I can’t recall having ever washed them.

~ A moment to judge ~

Glad that’s out in the open. Fun fact: wearing the same bottom Monday through Friday shaves like, 35 seconds off of Get Ready Time; that’s 35 less excuses for why you can’t brush your tongue in the morning!

Look 1:

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Vintage Levi’s shorts, Creatures of Comfort apron dress — another here, Amélie Pichard shoes

I love anything invoking barbecue condiments and so this mustard yellow apron dress was a no brainer for me. The snaps in the front and back make it versatile and I like how I could conceal the shorts should I decide to take this look from day to not past 9 p.m. it’s a weeknight dammit.

Look 2:

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Calvin Klein bra, Rachel Comey chain top, Robert Clergerie shoes

If you live anywhere in between the Eastern and Western hemispheres, then you’ve certainly seen the photos of Justin Bieber dreaming in his Calvins. And while I’m still patiently waiting for the house’s PR team to invite me to participate in their campaign, there’s no reason I can’t dream in #mycalvins in the interim.

I waffle iron tan lines in #mycalvins.

Look 3:

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Zara tunic — similar here, Oxford the Store earrings, Robert Clergerie shoes

The white tunic is to summer dressing what olive oil is to the Mediterranean diet: essential and best used when poured over everything. I chose a faint touch of gold jewelry because these earrings give me an ethereal but also grounded in space and time kind of vibe.

Look 4:

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Fanm Mon dress, Trademark slides

If denim shorts + slipper slides (splides?) isn’t the unofficial uniform of summer, than cut me blunt bangs and pray tell, what is? I paired it with a Ukrainian embroidered dress because my horoscope encouraged me to try new things.

Look 5:

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Lisa Marie Fernandez swimsuit, Stella McCartney shoes

The upside to wearing a swimsuit in a Manhattan heat wave? The material is sweat resistant! The downside to wearing a bathing suit in a Manhattan heat wave? The only pools are the ones steadily building in between the folds of your skin.

But don’t tell my denim shorts that. Still not gonna wash them.

Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.

 

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