I know what you’re thinking: I am not Barbra Streisand playing the role of Ben Stiller’s mother in Meet the Fockers which, I suppose, also means you’re not a sex therapist with an interest in botany. Technically speaking, none of us are Hillary Clinton on vacation yet, either, but that doesn’t have to mean you can’t wear capris.
Okay! I know what you’re thinking now, too: why in the good name of cool-ottes and cut-offs would I wear capris, Leandra? (You’re using my name to add a tinge of infuriation to your point, which I understand, but also don’t believe works.)
Consider this, though: you have to make so many decisions in the course of a day so don’t you want an excuse to not have to decide between pants and shorts and thus wear both?
Fashion is great in that it compliments the vicissitudes of a woman’s mood swings and never, ever makes you pick just one thing. I know I keep saying that capris are trending but I also realize that’s not technically true. Sure, Isa Arfen showed them for Spring (available now) and Elin Kling’s Totême has a pair up its sleeve (or leg), but call this more of a crystal ball than anything else. A sort of prediction that in — I don’t know, it could be as short as three months, as long as a year or two — due time, you will be happy I styled a pair of fuchsia capris for your consuming pleasure. So here you have it! Three ways to wear capris broken down by…
A) The Fashion Way
In this iteration, you are trying to look like the eccentric Alessandro Michele wishes you to be in the world. Color is key, but so are bikini tops or at least blouses styled with bikini tops over them. Your shoes don’t have to be gold, but they should make you feel like the most important person in any of the rooms you choose to stand in.
B) The Youth at a Convention Center Way
True or false: too few women wear headbands with bunny ears in a corporate environment. (I’ll answer: true.) Now here’s a follow up given that data: youth is the engine of the world (I stole that line from a Matisyahu lyric) and if you’re going to wear cropped suit pants to cover just your thighs until your knees and a blazer with shoulder pads, you really ought to dress up your head to prove that you understand that kids are cooler than adults. It might get you hired at the White House, btw.
C) The “I Don’t Have Time for This, I’m Late for my 5 O’Clock Picnic” Way
You’ve got a basket, you’ve got a shirt dress, your capris are intact so you might also want to plant flowers but before anyone can call you out for being so American, direct their attention to the leather straps crawling up your legs and the big-ass gold chains in your ears. Very Italian.
Case closed. So, are you in or are you out?
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis.