Everyone is always talking about timeless investments in the context of fashion — those garments that evolve with you through the fluctuation of your job trajectory and the losses and gains of your personal life. They join you on the road, through apartments you move out of and houses you move into and always make you feel the way any good piece of cloth is supposed to: like a million bucks.
The caveat with these pieces is that typically, they are boring-as-fuq. Brands like The Row have worked to eradicate the process of falling asleep at the cash register while you are about to pull the underwhelming trigger on a pair of cream trousers but the fact remains: buying plain-as-toast “wardrobe staples,” a sort of euphemism for investment pieces, makes an unconvincing case for the spirit of fashion’s weight.
Yes, sure, I understand why having good quality sweaters that range a color gamut from Zzz to Zzzzzzzzz is helpful on the mornings you can’t think about how you’re going to cloak your person, but if you buy too deeply into the archetypical notion of investment pieces, so much so that you’ve got no funds left for the thrills, thrills, thrills, what are you left with if not a metaphoric fridge full of bullshit broccoli thinly veiled by an insatiable craving for something more…fun to consume? Important to note here that fun does not mean detrimental to your health.
So, what’s the safe alternative to investment purchases (no doubt, by the way, a story we tell ourselves to justify spending X)? Statement stuff! Escapist shoes! And handbags shaped like watermelons. These are the easy tricks that hook you in, but there is often a guard that comes up when you start to think about clothing, and perhaps more specifically, coats. Take the one playing a lead role in the photos above — no doubt a centerpiece in the photographic panoply of recorded outfits. It’s recognizable within the first second you see me.
The argument against such purchases is that that you grow “tired” of them quickly. If I had to guess, “tired” is actually a metaphor for embarrassed. As in, you grow embarrassed of onlookers accidentally thinking that you wear the same thing over and over. Though I’m no trained expert, the psychology behind that fear probably indicates a lack of confidence in how you’re being perceived, but I ask you to consider why you’re feeling that way. Is it because you don’t trust your own taste? Don’t believe you can pull off the I-wear-what-I-want-when-I-want thing? Maybe I’m entirely wrong and for what it’s worth, I get it. I spent my entire adolescence trying to overcompensate for the style cues I wanted to come into but kind of just danced around for so many years.
This isn’t a money thing, by the way, but sometimes, even though you have the thoughts, it takes a minute to get them organized and realize what they are.
And besides, few people want to say the same thing with their clothes every time they put them on — that’s part of the other reason quiet clothes work so well. You get to modify them to say what you want much easier, but it takes some work. There’s no reason this can’t be true of a statement piece, too, though. The added upside is that if you’re not sure what you want to say, at least it knows what it’s supposed to say! That you’re here to party. Period.
Featuring an Osman coat.