Monocycle: Episode 9
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One of the reasons I am particularly energized by hosting this podcast has little to do with the soap box I’ve elected for myself and everything to do with real time.

Often when you’re given advice, that wisdom is provided reflectively: I’ve been through a journey, I’m out of a journey, and here are the findings. And that’s great — the model makes sense, but isn’t there some value, too, in learning from experience while said experience is in motion?

This week’s episode tackles vulnerability using the shadow of infertility and the subsequent numbing mechanisms we assume to survive as a cheap literary device.

I would apologize in advance for the abundant use of several dim words, but I’m trying to stop being so self-deprecating. So take a listen and then let’s chat.

Happy Friday,

Intro song: “The Show Must Be Go” by Kevin MacLeod, licensed under Creative Commons by Attribution 3.0 License. Logo illustration by Kelly Shami; background image photographed by Norman Parkinson.

Monocycle is edited by Nicholas Quazzy Alexander.


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  • Lea Telivuo-Kupari

    Thank you for this! You’re making talking about constipation socially acceptable and that is something. But seriously, the vulnerability is awesome.

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  • (was writing while listening, would like to comment upon a few aspects)

    Well … You need not necessarily lose empathy for others the moment your life turns better. You may use it in a different way, but a channel once dug will/may very well remain. Having empathy does not mean you are always able to say exactly the right thing and thus help others there and then (overtly) – you might simply be able to handle in a supportive way without other people noticing the usefulness of what you’re doing, which is often better anyway. In due time, your emotional experience may turn into instinctively supportive actions which may not get recognized (people often despise helpful people, so being sneaky about is might be clever).

    What if … we are actually totally supposed to grow both rationally and emotionally, regardless of the currently socially preferred aspect of our personality. So the rational part asks and answers all the hard questions and the emotional part feels around … It may or may not be able to verbalize the answers, but it feels and develops categories of feeling, which become more and more complex. I think both should be allowed: dense emotional mist without words and clear, no-nonsense verbal output whenever we can.

    So I guess you can observe what is going on, thus controlling your world a bit, and feel vulnerable at the same time. It is both times you. A good thing, too.

    • Leandra Medine

      Can I take you for coffee?

      • Just, you know, win this. The best way you personally can.

  • crazyloverblue

    I think vulnerability is just like those times you feel scared or unsure about things. Like how to function in a certain environment or situation. And then, using your definition of courage, you use courage and faith in yourself to get through it. That’s my view of it anyways.

  • Living Paula Blog

    This is great stuff.

  • Alarive

    I would love to hear the person that you feel you are terms of your writing. You are so multi-talented, with fashion, with your womanhood, and running a business, as well as with writing, and I would so love to know in what ways you identify as a writer. How does someone that is so self-assured in her fashion sense also show herself through writing? Do you recognize yourself in your writing? So many questions! But seriously, you are really interesting, these Monocycles are great.

  • Dear Leandra,

    the sincere voice of your vulnerability is a moment that in one dimension or the other touches almost each one of us, and being or considering ourselves invulnerable is like admitting you are not human. Therefore, I have to thank you for sharing your thoughts and what are you passing through, which I am pretty sure there are a lot of women out there who doesn’t have the opportunity to raise your voice, but who still have to deal with their vulnerability.
    When me and my husband decided to have a child it took us more than 1 year that dream to happen and I still have all the negative tests on my drawer, I had to make every-month while my period was so irregular. Anyhow, I clearly remember the moment when I got framed on baby expecting, because it was the moment when I decided to be mindfully relaxed. Don’t think of anything and just let life flow, and it did flow on the right way. So right that my 4 years old kid still asks me with pregnancy test on hand “mum what is this? is this a sward?”
    One day after a lot of years you will listen to this podcast and I wonder which is going to be the question you would ask your self? always if you would like to ask your self:”how would you identify vulnerability?”

  • ReinaG

    I HAVE AN INTRO IDEA! Just pick a line thats you… mine is usually “hey lil mama” other people have “wassup wassup”

  • Sasha

    “Mental Janitor” hahahahaha i’m going to start saying that!

  • Luísa

    Im listening to Monocycle on and on over a week, what made me want to thank you for yours sincerely and wise words. I may not understand every single thing, but it really helped me through some shit haha and actually made me feel way better : – ) kisses from Brasil