Cyber Monday vs. Siberia

What would you rather talk about: Cyber Monday or Siberia? On the topic of Siberia, there is a book, which incidentally came out toward the end of October, called “Midnight in Siberia: A Train Journey into the Heart of Russia,” being discussed on Yahoo. I did not read it and as a result have no opinion formed.

On Cyber Monday, however, I can share the following visceral, if not vaguely antithetical reactions:

1. If I see one more tweet promoting percentage points off [insert expensive item that is still expensive but not as expensive as it was before here], I will publicly match the aforementioned percent off of my own head via self-amputation. This seems absurd considering the simple fact that I am the only one who will have to endure pain to bring this point/lesson home while the rest of my digital comrades go on shopping.

2. On the other hand, it’s just so hard to look away! Or talk about anything else! Or focus on anything else! When Shoescribe tells me shoes are 40% off and because it’s Cyber Monday, you can expect an additional 25% off, I have to wonder whether the answer to the age old question, “How many sneakers are too many sneakers” maintains a plausible/finite answer. And also, leopard print!

2a. If we’re talking reasons to defend Cyber Monday, 15% off* these socks is a really good one.

*I am such a hypocrite

3. According to Bloomberg, Black Friday sales were down 11% this year, totaling dollars spent on the infamous consumerist birthday to one billion. Does this make it our duty to match that amount with the day’s younger cousin, Cyber Monday, to ensure that it eclipses said older cousin? Just a thought. Feather breasts, anyone?

4. The first day back to work post-Thanksgiving is a frustrating reminder of your indolence. You said you’d go to the gym, you did not. You said you’d clean your closet. There is a mountain of sweaters (none of which include this) comfortably settled right next to your bed. You thought about a manicure and maybe treating yourself to a back rub but just a few short hours into the alpha-Monday, your shoulder blades feel like they are carrying the weight of your entire body and your nails are so brittle it is a true medical marvel they are even still attached to your fingers.

But don’t think about that. Don’t think about any of it. Instead, throw your some shade at yourself for having thought you might get through the most elaborate consumerist trap of the year and spend the money you said you wouldn’t. Or don’t! Simply let Shopping Cart Syndrome lead the way. We’ll get the ball rolling and as a team, share our respective list of Top 5 Wants (cue slideshow) in anticipation that you will share yours.

I understand that I already requested this from you on Friday but I defer to point #3.

Get more Shopping ?
  • Quinn Halman

    Black Friday and Cyber Monday have not been kind to me. Not only are the X% offs taunting but I don’t even get the Thanksgiving aspect. Mine was in October and don’t ask me about it; I can’t tell you why Canada has Thanksgiving, I just shrug and don’t go to school. Which brings me to my next point, you can take 75% off a designer brand and still have the price be well above $1,000. Or it’s at a reasonable price and Ellen Degeneres appears on your shoulder and says “Q, you’re doing the college thing, and you want to do it an ocean away, better save. Also, you’re doing secret santa- just light the menorah and move on”but then *POOF* Justin Bieber shows up on the other shoulder and says “You’d look so good in that”. It’s such a “first world problem” that this is a dilemma. However, you can’t shake the two eventually end up checking into some psychiatric ward all because sales made you see things.

  • Jen

    buying. all. sorry mom!

  • Donna

    Cyber sales are tricky with sizing and whatnot I wind up going insane and then I am too lazy to return things.

  • Sales are driving me nuts. My inbox had three pages full this morning!

  • Cinamaron

    My thing with the clothes shopping is that I feel that the %s off have been the same since Monday for everywhere I like to shop, PLUS it’s like a pretty standard percent off too. Normal sale prices, not OMG huge deals or anything. It’s made it pretty easy to resist buying most things. Instead I am holding out for the after-holiday sales.

  • Amalie

    Sales are the best and the worst at the same time xx.

  • starryhye

    I consider myself quite a savvy online shopper (a result of living far far away from any desirable shopping). I’ve been doing the “Cyber Monday” thing for a few years but usually only for specific items. I’ve found so many retailers this year, touting their sales with a measly 20% off. Excuse me? 20% off is not a Cyber Monday worthy discount. Add back in sales tax and shipping and I’m back to the same retail price!

    • Leandra Medine

      Not 20 off already reduced prices? Just a plain old friends and family gesture?

      • starryhye

        Yes! Super lame. But then again, it kept me from buying something. Still not sure if that’s a win or not…

  • Point #4…. my life right now gahhhhhhh #procrastinationnation

  • lavieenliz

    damn cyber monday and my bank account don’t agree

  • pamb

    I’ll tell my only Siberia story: in the mid 90s, my husband put through a request to work internationally with his company. There was no way we were going to get England/France/Italy, because they were so poller, but what the heck. The powers that be came back with… Siberia. Although I would have had a fabulous fur coat, we said ‘nyet’. They came back with Saudi Arabia (we are Jewish). Nope. And then we took ourselves off the international list.

  • Cyber monday is better than Black Friday (sassy girl emoji)