“Slutty” Isn’t a Halloween Costume, and Other Halloween-Related Advice

Some helpful reminders for the day America turns into a sparsely clothed Animal House

10.31.14

slutty-is-not-a-costume

Costume averse and just trying to focus on fall basics?  We have thoughts on that, too.

1. Cultural appropriation is never a good idea; Halloween is no exception.
Anyway you slice it, co-opting an entire culture or race for the sake of a costume comes off as racist. It’s the outfit equivalent of saying that all Irish people leave without saying goodbye, or that all Jewish people are accountants. There is not one person in the history of the world who’s pulled this off, store bought or not, without looking like a complete douche. There’s having costume edge, like going as an identifiable person of another race or culture; then there is stereotyping-an-entire-culture-edgy – as in, you’re about to fall off a cliff.

2. Leave when the threesome starts turning into a twosome.
I could go on, but this feels pretty self-explanatory.

3. The cop at your front door is probably a cop.
If you’re throwing a rager and a man or woman dressed as a cop knocks on your door after the stroke of midnight, don’t compliment them on their great costume or assume that someone hired a stripper. Presume that they are, in fact, The Heat until you find out otherwise.

4. Turn the walk of shame into a stride of pride.

If you’ve ever seen a baby giraffe attempting to run, then you know what a hung-over, morning-after Halloween reveler in heels looks like while bolting from someone’s apartment to the closest possible transport system. If this person is or will be you, take no shame in the fact that you are in public in a (possibly slutty) costume at 9am. Stride toward that cab with pride because you are the only person within a five mile radius who was just mistaken for Tarzan.

5. Slutty isn’t a Halloween costume. Use the Word “Sexy” Instead.

When Greenwich Village of ‘74 put on its first Halloween parade, it forever blurred the (hem)lines between spooky and provocative. These days, many women and men regard the parties that accompany the holiday as a scantily-clad bacchanal.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a raging, hormone-fueled fête. And I especially love people who party with wanton abandon. But let’s be clear -– there are sexy Halloween costumes and then there are ones better left alone. Call me old-fashioned, but I just don’t think making a fireman, Disney character or the Ebola nurse look “sexy” is a particularly interesting Halloween costume.

MR Updated Mandate, however: use of the word “slutty” isn’t either, so let’s not tag it on to any Halloween costume that bears cleavage.

A person’s outfit says a lot about them – so why not go as a good pun? Love breakfast and decapitation? Cereal Killer. Or combine wit and sex-appeal and be “50 Shades of Grey” by taping grey color swatches all over yourself. But if you disagree with my argument because your inner-slut needs a night to come out to play, do go for it. I would just challenge you to give the conspicuously promiscuous look a twist by pondering what a sexy Ghostbuster or sexy Madeleine Albright would look like. Or how about a sexy Ghostbusting Madeleine Albright? I don’t have an answer for this, but I’d love to end up at a party where I get to meet you and find out.

Written by Emily Bracken.

Images Shot by Helmut Newton and via Refinery29

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