Five Things You Need for Spring

Even if winter does just straight up turn into summer


Okay, not “need.” Technically, you need nothing save for a good health insurance plan and tender love and care, which should theoretically be provided to yourself from, erm, yourself. But should you also want, say, a cherry on top of an ice cream sundae that comes replete with all the ingredients that make you feel full anyway, look no further than the Excel spreadsheet provided below. It will chronicle items and help analyze cost vs. supposed cost-per-wear taking into account time you spend in said items and how you rank, intrinsic feeling-wise, on a scale numbered 1-10.

Kidding, I’m totally kidding.

No Excel spreadsheet, no fake-data analysis. Just five good things I want and am therefore projecting onto you.

1. End-all-be-all Sunglasses. You know what I don’t like? Feeling like I have to have several different pairs of sunglasses to speak to the nuances of the girl I am trying to be on different days. I just want the ones. The Chameleonic Ones. Ideally, these make everything look cooler without also making me look either boring or crazy or both. As of right now, the only pair that has ever come close is this set of round frames by Ralph Lauren, which I had in houndstooth until recently, I lost them. I am now back at square A and considering either these or these.

2. An Indulgent Scarf. Not to wear because it’s cold, even though frankly, it kind of is, but simply because if you’re willing to allow them to, scarves make the woman. If you’re lucky enough to find a really large square one, you can fold it in half so it takes the shape of a triangle and then wrap it around your neck, making sure that the widest point falls to the front. Then, you can wrap the narrower points around your neck and let them hang from the front thus creating the illusion of a top. The only thing else you’ll really need is a white tank or t-shirt and some jeans and if it gets really hot, you can reassess your scarf’s purpose and wear it as a sarong. I am partial toward the Spanish-style red and black scarf of one Dries Van Noten but it retails for $780.

3. Interesting Jeans. Is it ever really a list of things I, personally, need if there isn’t at least one component of denim involved? I fell hard for the kooky flared jeans from Valentino’s S/S 2014 collection and even contemplated buying them but before I could muster the courage to drop it like its hot, those crazy culottes sold out so here I consider some jeans-can-be-the-hero-of-your-life-too alternatives.

4. Off-the-Shoulder Anything. Except a ukulele because I don’t even know how that could be worn off the shoulder. I think it just occurred to me that I am trying to emulate a Spanish-step dweller this spring and I have no regrets at all about that. I’ve come across some very decent OTS blouses in my day and have recently become imprisoned by the offerings of one Vika Gazinskaya and another Alexander McQueen, but there is life after Net-A-Porter, or so I am told, so consider this a more approachable market suggestion.

5. Clogs. I’ve spent the last few weeks trying really hard to look like a funky aunt. I know that seems like an unusual description but consider the role of an aunt, who is maternal enough to be related to someone who would go so far as to have a child and then the adjective “funky,” which is somehow frequently likened to both fashionability and earthiness, ergo clogs. There is a pair by Rochas, which I am nuts about, but I do also really like the ones by Swedish Hasbeens.

Now tell me what you want!

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  • kate

    i want every. thing.

  • Kate Wilson
  • I was somewhat looking forward to the excel sheet, but this was very helpful too! Especially the sunglasses part. I’ve been wearing the same pair for FOUR YEARS WITHOUT LOSING THEM. I think that is a crazy long life for a pair, so I’m just waiting for the day when they slide off my face into oncoming traffic and they are gone forever. Thank you for giving me somewhere to turn when that happens. I should make it happen before my birthday coming up so someone else has to buy them for me. MUAHAHAHA.

  • Abby E

    yes. all about the clogs.

  • Guest

    round. nude. mirrored. sunglasses. do they even exist?

  • Guest

    nude. round. mirrored. sunglasses. do they even exist?

  • Natural Birth Bebe

    nude. mirrored. round. sunglasses. do they even exist?

  • Sarah

    I love the sunglasses. I basically need a pair of jelly shoes with a little extra platform for summer and I’ll feel a little more complete.

    xx Sarah | Loser Girl Wins

  • Isabelle

    I´m searching for some cool sunglasses that just look normal on my long face. It is really difficult because every pair I try on looks very ugly, no matter if it´s round, cateye, edgy or the classic aviators…

    • It took me the longest time to find some sunglasses that suit my long and generally large face! Most “oversized” styles still made me look hideous. Try Celine, they’re the only brand who make more than one style that works on me, though my bank account wasn’t happy after I bought mine….

  • Somebody from Somewhere
  • FatFreeFashion

    Love the off-the-shoulder trend, need to find a look-a-like of that red McQueen!

  • lavieenliz

    ahh I want!!!!!!!!

  • I love Swedish Hasbeens clogs!

    Mafalda ❤

  • I just want everything in seersucker! Got two skirts last summer, now I’m after a dress/pinafore and a pair of short baggy shorts (so I’ll probably have to look at Ralph Lauren’s teenage boys range…)

  • I’m on the hunt for a yellow scarf that isn’t neon! Unfortunately, no luck so far.

    Alessia |

  • Maura

    I’ve been coveting the pep-toe by Swedish Hasbeens for 4 yrs now, but could not justify the over $200 price tag for a pair of wooden shoes; however(!), I found Lotta by Sweden pep-toe clogs (EXACTLY the same as SH) for $100 less than SH. They are en-route as I type. Just thought I’d share

    • Leandra Medine

      Pro tip!!! Thank you

    • tack så mycket!

  • Anu

    I NEED to know where to find that yellow indulgent scarf with polka dots. Tell me Leandra!

    xo Anu

  • Susan

    i’m going for a uniform this summer because the city and studio work are so hard on my clothes. so a sexy pseudo sheer v neck white tee. it has to have a pretty deep v neck. and a perfect pair of cut offs. My astral twin will be wearing those kooky Valentinos though.

  • monkeyshines
  • Sweet Mona
  • Susie

    Yep. And thanks for the scarf suggestion. Now I realize why long skinny scarves just don’t always do the right thing. Square scarves live!

  • Ha! Yes! I need to tell my mom. She has been saying for years that one day in the near future I will no longer be able to deny that her clogs are “on point,” because a credible fashion source will say they are “in.”

    So, here’s to my mom and her 40+ years in clogs. And vive le Scandinavian pride.

  • It’s crazy even Dansko clogs are becoming a “thing.”

  • Great post. A lot to write on my shopping list 😉

  • LilyP

    haha, i’m kind of obsessed with getting those old horrible nurse Dansko clogs but I want really old, beat up ones. Haven’t found them yet. Also, I love those Miu Miu sunglasses that look like the bottoms are cut off. They’d probably be my “end all, be alls” and I have a Dries scarf but I really love the bold new ones, what’s a girl to do. I’m currently shredding a pair of old jeans right now. I’d love to have a new leather biker jacket…

  • Harley

    Acne Lenna vintage sandals, Isabel Marant Holden Slides, slouchy white silk pajama trousers, end-all-be-all sunglasses

  • It’s scarves and more scarves for me this summer!

  • Celeste

    those scarves. sobbing at how their price tags render them an entity that is forever embedded in a parallel universe inaccessible to me 🙁

  • I want Charlotte Olympia’s Archie comic clutch. When I saw it I was immediately transported back to summers at Camp Waziyatah in Maine. I wasn’t allowed to have comics at home, so for 8 weeks each summer I would binge on comic book contraband. It would be the ultimate irony.


  • Priya M.

    I spend everyday of my life trying to look like a funky aunt with my bellbottoms and silky scarves, all I need now is a pair of clogs! <3

  • Farha

    It is all so nice.. Love the interesting jeans

  • okay.

    Does anyone know where the scarf in the fifth picture (lady in grass tyrannized by the sun)?! I feel like I keep seeing it everywhere and I NEED it.

  • TheRanta

    I am debating buying this dress as one of my spring/summer wardrobe staples and, MR Hivemind, I’ve come to you for help. What you need to know: I’m 5’4″, not bird-boned skinny (but relatively slender with medium-boned build), small boobs, not really curvy, and in love with this print. I love the look of the dress, but am worried it might make me look a little squat, since it has a bit of a hospital gown thing going on (which kinda makes me love it more). Would you do it?

  • john