I recently imparted the bread theory on you in relation to jeans. The theory goes as follows: bread, like jeans, is a form of nourishment universally accepted and appreciated.
And just because my father eats his bread with salami, while I am vegetarian and as a result would never deign to do such a thing, does not mean that bread has been ruined for me. I still go on eating my bread with peanut butter or almond butter and jelly or neither.
See, and that’s the other thing. Bread, like jeans, isn’t gender exclusive.
I’ve been speaking a lot with my friend Rosie (who you may know as the poplin-whisperer) about what ruins clothes. Typically, it’s not so much what as it is who. Say you’re to buy a beautiful embroidered mini dress and you can’t wait to wear it in an approximation you’ve spent hours conjuring up. You’ll pair it with open toe, lace-up linen buckle boots that reach your calf. You’ll put a green utility jacket over it. It is the best outfit you’ve ever come up with, then suddenly, there it is.
You see your perfect embroidered mini dress prostituting itself across the pages of a tabloid magazine. It is being demonized by a celebrity you’ve never heard of, whose hair is tousled in all the ways you hate and whose shoes point up toward the sky instead of out toward ambition. There is a jacket involved and it seems as though she’s tried to re-appropriate the very look you’d put together but now the dress is ruined and there is no turning back.
Don’t you wish you’d just purchased the bread equivalent of clothing?
Unfortunately and independent of the jeans, the only other bread garment — that which can’t be ruined no matter how it’s interpreted, is a plain white t-shirt. As Rosie put it, “No one can steal the way you wear a t-shirt. It is so plain and naive that it can’t be co-opted by another person.” Like in the case of your bread, you can smear whatever the hell you want over it without having to worry that someone will make a sandwich so repulsive, you will never look at bread again.
In the spirit of that, let’s make our Thursday resolution to consider the white t-shirt — an investment piece that transcends the boundaries of truly investing and big name brands — with a little more respect and scrutiny, shall we?