The What I Wores

…is back! By no demand at all.

02.17.14

Two things.

The first: I’m beginning to wonder how necessary these bi-annual Fashion Week outfit recaps are becoming. I know in previous seasons you’ve asked for them and as a result, I have delivered, but I do believe that in addition to its sinister ability to deplete a human necessity to read stuff and instead nourish a surface-level hankering to simply look at stuff, Instagram is functioning as the street style blog heard — sorry, seen — round the world.

During fashion week, Instagram is effectively updated on the second, every second with both iPhone and camera-proper photos, documenting the people who traipse right before my eyes, as they are traipsing right before my eyes.

The second: I wore a lot of navy, black and white, huh? Last week was really, really cold which I do believe made functioning in the public domain and looking stylish or cool or whatever it is more difficult than it has previously been. But that is neither here nor there so instead, I will walk you through nine outfits that walked me through Fashion Week and leave room for you to deduce whatever you’d like and criticize me where appropriate. Ready? Okay.

In outfit #1, I stand face to camera against a Getty man wearing a thick navy blue turtleneck from Whistles London over a sheer black dress by Thayer, black jeans that have zippers at the ankle and some black and white Saint Laurent brogues. The bookbag is Olympia Le Tan.

Outfit #2 does not fall under the umbrella of Sage Decisions Made by Leandra simply because I am a wearing a blazer, not coat (Stella McCartney), over a t-shirt, not sweater (Zara). The jeans are real skinny and by Citizens of Humanity which offset my shoe pants, by Celine. The neck scarf is Peter Pilotto, the fringe-y ass handbag is Valentino and the sunglasses, a personal Hallmark of my week, are Oliver Peoples.

I direct traffic in outfit #3 which I am sure you have probably seen 101 times heretofore. The coat is Rosie Assoulin, the sweater is Uniqlo, the turtleneck is Christina Lehr (so good for an ample hair tuck), the jeans are Patrick Ervell and the booties are Alaïa. I got them on The Outnet four years ago for $325.

In this fourth outfit, I really, really try to marry the aesthetics of Fran Lebowitz and a little French boy I once saw walking down Rue Jacob in Paris. To do so, I combine a Céline blazer with a Uniqlo sweater, a white button down blouse by Valentino (collar popped at back and flipped at front), high waist Acne jeans which I cut, doily socks from Topshop and Stella McCartney loafers. The sunglasses are Karen Walker and in my opinion make me look like an alien in all the right ways.

This here fifth outfit is all about a good gorilla arm. The sweater is Sally LaPointe and finds itself worn over a Diane von Furstenberg embellished slip dress. The jeans are Blk Dnm, the shoes are Burberry and the handbag is Mark Cross.

Later that same day, I forgo my sweater, jeans and creepers for a white blouse, a leather jacket from All Saints, the same Elizabeth and James jeans from day one and white Manolo Blahnik pumps.

Outfit #6.5 includes an Ostwald Helgason jacket that catches my Prada sandals and a sweater/turtleneck combo by Caroline Constas. The skirt is by Opening Ceremony and the bag is by Charlotte Brontë.

Hehe.

Outfit #7 (worn on the same day at 6.5) includes a long blazer that I bought on Yoox by Vionnet and the same beige Uniqlo sweater from earlier. The high waist white jeans are Blk Dnm and the loafers, again, are Stella McCartney. That choker is by Paula Mendoza.

Finally, there’s outfit #8, which finds me immersed in the thick of Amy Pohler’s Vortex round 3526178318. I’m laughing because it’s funny but only in the same way that illness is which is to say, not funny at all. The hat is Maison Michel, scarf by Maiyet, pants by Helmut Lang, sneakers by Nike and handbag by Rebecca Minkoff.

Okay, now, talk to me; tell me your name.

All photos pulled from Pinterest though I do know a handful got there via Vogue.com, Style.com, The Cut and Collage Vintage.

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