Noah’s Ark

It’s the hottest nightclub in town


*The hottest nightclub is Noah’s Ark. This place has got everything: yellow-chested parrots inside platinum-headed human bird cages, a topless centaur with the legs of a zebra, baby chickens, and a woman who gives birth to a kangaroo every time you blink.

When you get there, check your coat and receive a monkey who will hang out on your back all night. Giant snails climb up on walls and you can ride them around like you’re in a trolly in the belly of Gringotts, and instead of getting an umbrella in your drink you’re handed a live tortoise with turtles on their back, but careful, they bite worse than the sneetahs. A sneetah is that thing where a sand cheetah pops out of random doors and the sand pours out and the cheetah tries to rip your face off.

There’s also a horse with a conjoined human twin in a floral dress, and everyone wears lemurs on their heads. Life is the dance floor, dog is the deejay, and last but not least, you can get a lap dance from an alligator named Patricia for a million dollars.

Play the song below, put on your favorite pair of sunglasses made from live butterflies, and get ready because it’s almost Saturday night.

*Inspired by SNL’s Stefon

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  • How did you know I’ve always wanted to run topless with a zebra, hold hands with a kangaroo, lounge in bed with a lion, and feed a baby elephant?!
    Thank you, lovers! I’ve been so busy at work, I am way behind on my TMR. Guess it’s time to quit my job 😉

  • Quinn Halman

    Hahahah, I read this in Stefon’s voice the entire time. Probably my favourite Saturday post, the pictures were divine! Especially the David Sims, Vogue UK shot where it looks like the model and horse are somewhat walking in unison.

  • Selena Delgado

    What I wouldn’t do for that SNAIL in my apartment… certainly a unique conversation piece.

  • Nancy

    Haha the flamingo one! Great photos

    The Artistically Challenged

  • Caitlin Bright

    Clicked on this solely because of “tribute to Stefon.” That part is hilarious and well-written. But the images are seriously beautiful. Pinned almost all of them as inspiration for later.

  • Ahbee

    Totally irrelevant but I woke up today dancing to Wekeed by Wild Child!
    Great post, btw. In the second picture shot by Michael Comte, the model looks as if she’s continuing the Zebra stripes via her protruding rib cage.

  • Julia

    I had to click in as soon as I read “The hottest nightclub is”. This is the absolute best, just made my morning!

  • Anaiah

    this feels like an snl skecth with Bill Hader, well it might as well be since saturday is approaching!

  • dupras

    Screenshotted many of these for future iPhone wallpapers…the peacock Gucci ad was DA BEST.

    Blog à la Dupras

  • runway2street

    Beautiful compilation of images! Made my morning.

  • Glad to see Stefon is a contributing writer to Man Repeller – can’t wait to hear more night club recommendations from him in the future! 😉

  • YES!


  • Josephine Baker

    These photos are gorgeous! Thanks for sharing 🙂

  • While the whole narration in the post is hilarious,
    the photos are amazing.
    Wonderful collection.