Playing Devil’s Advocate re This Morning’s Post

Men, Leandra. The Answer to Your Earlier Question Is Men.


Hi, so has Leandra actually been on Tinder? (Other than the 40 minutes where she conducted a highly scientific anthropological study.) Because in this morning’s post where she posed the question, What is harder to find? The perfect man, or the perfect jeans?, her conclusion was that while “perfect” is subjective in regards to both, there’s no dating app for denim, and therefore the apex of jeanswear is much harder to find. But she’s wrong. Locating the perfect man is significantly harder.

Before I go further allow me to qualify my own argument with two points of note:

1) I am not personally looking to find the holy grail of male-as-mate at this juncture in my life. I’m merely trying to prove the point that if one were on the search for both denim and lifelong romance, a quintessential indigo pant would manifest itself much sooner.

2) Finding the perfect jeans are far more important.

As a proud member of the 5’3″ Can-You-Reach-That-Shelf-For-Me-Club, I’ve been on the hunt for ideal denim before. Pants, as a community, have a reputation for fitting and hanging better on those who are tall. But it’s not as though the perfect jeans don’t exist (no matter your height), because I’ve clicked through enough e-retailers and browsed enough stores to know that actually, there are about a million pairs of blue that I’d like to be associated with on a personal level. I can sort my jean-search by wash, size, price, and designer, and then all I have to do is add them to my shopping cart. Sounds far more lucrative than Tinder — or any bar/set up/dating site/rodeo to me.

This whole “perfect man” thing, however… let’s unpack it. We’ve already agreed that the idea of human utopia is subjective. It’s also highly flawed when considering that we, as a species, are also flawed. A man can’t technically be perfect no matter how nice his hair is or how spot-on his sarcasm is. Said funny guy (with the really good manners!) could, for all intents and purposes, also be a serial killer.

But most men don’t harvest a blood thirsty secret that could eventually inspire Lifetime to create a made-for-TV movie about their murdering ways. Most men are just trying to get through life without offending someone by way of an accidentally awkward text or without pissing off their boss. They’re trying to make sure that they wore the right tie or said the right thing just as much as we stress out over our own outfits and conversations.

I’m not calling myself an expert by any stretch of the imagination, but I am a 25-year-old woman who goes on dates and this much I’ve gathered: it takes about an awful lot more hours to sift through the weirdos, creeps, the assholes, the flings, than it does to go on to Net-A-Porter for a good pair of pants.

At the end of the day, when it comes to both the ideal jeans and the right guy, when you know, you know. But, as one of you pointed out earlier, the beauty of denim is that it’s not considered cheating when you own more than one pair.

And that’s kind of perfect.

Get more Postmodern Love ?
  • Hannah Cavaciuti

    Wish I could have a wardrobe of men, and to be able to choose one for each situation or mood!

  • carmen
  • Natasha Ndlovu

    If only one could shop for a pair of boyfriend jeans that came with a boyfriend. LOL 🙂

  • KissingDaisies

    You kinda nailed it there. Especially by saying: “At the end of the day, when it comes to both the ideal jeans and the right guy, when you know, you know”.
    That’s so true. You gotta follow your feelings.
    Also, nothing or nobody is perfect. At first sight, yes, but later on you notice the little things or details and then you realize it (denim and/or boyfriend) isn’t as perfect.
    But you love it/him anyway and when you know you just know.
    However, don’t just look for ‘perfect’. Don’t let it be a waste of time. You’ll find it, somehow and sometime.

  • Aubrey Green

    I was thinking the same thing, you can have more than one :). I’m still conflicted though

  • Claire

    I am glad you made the distinction between Tim Riggins and Taylor Kitsch. Tim Riggins is so much more….

    • Amelia Diamond

      EXACTLY. #33

  • ienard118

    If owning more than one pair of jeans was cheating, I’d never be faithful. Denim > men

  • CarlotaLMorais

    Lovely post Amelia, your writting is beautiful! And agreee

  • CarlotaLMorais

    And also I know this might sound weird but I kinda of have a thing for jewish and funny guys and Adam Samberg for me is just so sexy in a weird/unusual way. Love him

  • Lilli

    I wish, like old cringe worthy jeans, shit men ended up in a lost vortex and all we had to chose from were a selection of our old and dearly missed lovers or brand new beauties that are a perfect fit.

  • Well, it’s hard to choose. Because life is hard. And I have yet to find a perfect fitting pair of jeans…or a perfect man.

  • Hereshoping Themayanswereright

    You definitely look taller than 5’3″. I thought you were around 5’7″

  • olivier thompson

    love this —>

  • Catherine

    I digress. I was skeptical to acknowledge posts autographed by someone other than Leandra, due to familiarity and, I guess, because i’m bias. However, I was taught via the ever-so-ordinary LifeTime movie, ’12 Dates of Gifting’, alongside the fact that Zach Morris was a fictional character and his counterpart is still acting, that life is worth living in the moment. I’m now elated to have found another writer i’m as eager to follow via ManRepeller!

    I love the cat-and-mouse game you + Leandra offer blogreaders wordlwide, but, I’d love to see you start your own blog someday, Amelia!

  • Polly Daszkiewicz

    “The beauty of denim is that it’s not considered cheating when you own more than one pair”

    On another note, in terms of “boyfriend jeans”, sometimes the perfect pair of said jeans actually come from your boyfriend… So maybe sometimes you have to find the perfect man to find the perfect [boyfriend] jeans?!


  • Being a part of the 5′ 3″ club myself, I cannot agree with this more. Pants just tend to be harder for us to find and more importantly love.

  • Erika

    Love this post—and the one that inspired it! Keep up the A-MAH-ZING (said in the voice of Penny from the now cancelled Happy Endings 🙁 ) work!

  • Josephine Baker

    Great post! As a proud member of the 5’9″ why-do-jeans-always-expose-my-ankles club, I completely agree!