Wearing Faces

It will be a fun activity, trust me.


Maybe you remember an early attraction to lip adorned chokers, bracelets, faces. Maybe you don’t. How about one of the eye-ball variety? It doesn’t matter. What does matter is that the contingency of facial features popping up on garments, accessories, even the sporadic shoe to remind you, the consumer, that your head isn’t the end-all be-all for harvesting sensory glands is growing at a fairly rapid pace, see: recent e-commerce fall drops. And while the updated ones won’t work as effectively, this should render no problem: functionality is for babies and jogging suit-laden senior citizens. On the bright side, being dubbed two-faced may have just become a little less about you, more about what you’re wearing. Below take a peek at a collage-o-lage constructed to celebrate the notion of seeing with your breasts, chatting with your earlobes, tasting with your navel, snorting with your knuckle, even heart-beating with your feet(ing.)

…Had to throw in a cardiac muscle for good measure. From top left: Mulberry pear sweater, Wildfox smiley-face yellow sweater, Stubbs and Wootton coronary loafers, MR. Dannijo eye ring–equipped with eyelashes might I add–Aurelie Bidermann mother of pearl lips bracelet slash necklace, Markus Lupfer animated sequined eye sweater, Moschino Cheap & Chic winking eye, Bang for your buck alert: Topshop eyes and nose ring, River Island lips earrings. And then at right: Lanvin eye brooch, creepy and chic in the same way that 90s faux horror-flick Idle Hand was, Ashish smiley sweater, 3.1 Phillip Lim break-up sweater and finally: Markus Lupfer twilight lips. Now, let’s address something key and wonder: where have all the noses gone? Cheers to Topshop but it’s like no one gives a shit about sinus infections anymore. What kind of a people have we become?

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