Sale Holy Grail

Slashed Alaia, Alaia slashed.


Today, TMR functions as the miracle glue that binds your feet to luxurious footwear. Scoring Alaia shoes on The Outnet is kind of like winning the lottery only you pay money, not get it. Womp. It’s worth it in the name of sustainable art though and in dissecting just what makes Alaia shoes so damn expensive, I learned that the reality of it is, they aren’t just shoes. They’re practically semi-functioning people, see below.

They ride bikes and not just ride bikes but camouflage with the black metal that constructs the wheelers which could turn out very useful given the circumstances of whatever the situation at hand may pan out to be. Never underestimate the power of camouflage.

They love cereal, namely the sugary-kind that enables breakfast to feel like dessert. Look to the right for heaven’s sake, it couldn’t be more obvious: Tony the Tiger is all like, “they’re grrrrrreat!” and he’s not referring to frosted flakes which, I’ll just say it, sound like a really bad case of dandruff married to an awkward sexual innuedo. Sea-men related if you know what I’m saying which is not about a boat.

They give back to the greater good of mankind, resting on fire hydrants on any given day, at any given time to preserve our fine city and perhaps more importantly, make sure that should trouble strike, they’re in close proximity. You see, those black suede cut outs are far more functional in matters of a smoky hazard than the naked eye can comprehend.

They play not regular basketball but grocery store harvested b-ball. They also give a chance to the little guys, like Baden, slowly but surely climbing the hierarchical ranks to beat out Spalding. The spam really serves no purpose other than to say, “wow, these are cool shoes,” and also, “sorry for inundating your inbox with memos about penile implants, but did you really have to report me?”

Finally and perhaps most notably, they even talk on the phone. “Azzedine, Azzedine, hello?”

Excuse me, he’s on the phone with his namesake.

(Insert chatter here.)

And this just in: Azzey wanted to let you know that there’s a big ass drop hitting The Outnet at 11AM today, just calmly sitting on your browser, waiting for you, maybe splashed with a dose of crazy, where the shoes float like root beer at an alleged 60% off. Here again, I wish there was an app that allowed you to throw tomatoes at me every time my jokes were this bad. In my defense though, I did just find you discounted Alaia, so.

While prices are still high, that’s a fact I won’t argue, if you’re in the market for a new pair of shoes, consider this: cost per wear means nothing when we can consider cost per action and if you calculate how valuable and beneficial a pair of Alaia shoes can become, if trained well, of course, (they talk to spam, ride bicycles, eat cereal, sit on hydrants–for heaven’s sake,) you’re practically making out like a bandit. A bandit, I tell ya. Home Alone.

Black Alaia booties, $640 at The Outnet. All photos by Charlotte Fassler.

Get more Shopping ?
  • Mafalda Nunes
  • Love theses Alaia shoes!

  • =^..^=

    Love the SPAM cameo ! 

    ((P.S. Who the H is Charlotte ?  & where’s Naomi ??  Wait:  You have TWO friends who photograph your every psycho move ??! ))

    • Leandra

      Charlotte works with me!! Should have specified Naomi was out of town

  • Once more proving one can be sexy AND useful.

  • Amazing shoes! Please don’t tell me that you sprawled out on the sidewalk for that fire hydrant shot… I recognize that spot well from when I walk my friend’s dog. Nobody can accuse you of not being committed!

  • Meelena L

    they’re gorgeous!


  • Esther

    LOVE these photos. And the shoes of course.

  • Isabellecayla

    So nice this shoots and those boots.

  • kbuchholznp

    Those are THE BUSINESS. Alia cage booties. Serious business. Awesome. 

  • These shoes could be my interns. Need them!


  • Thelittleworldoffashion

    Love them, adore them, like them! 🙂

  • rhodawong
  • Amanda Reyes
  • Sophie

    Those shoes are a dream…..  So gorgeous.


  • Beth Addis

    Wow, they are gorgeous and these pics are just amazing and so creative!!!  xx,  Pip

  • Trendydolap
  • Dinadots

    These pictures are fabulous and made me laugh. Cheeky and subversive fashion photos. I love.

  • Eva

    Ok they are really gorgeous!xxx

  • Those heels are amazing!


  • Wish $640 was affordable – but alas, you’ve done them justice despite the price. 

    the “Grocery store harvested b-ball” has such charisma that the cost of the shoes themselves may be justified by the ability to converse with said ball that they provide. The spam too. though he comes across as a bit of a voyeur. 

    Really adore these are bootless-boots; the holey & upper crust spinoff of my ankle boot obsession. Even like the stiletto heel – which usually crosses the line into overly feminine, but here is somehow balanced by the added chunk. 

    This is my kind of post. weird photos & grocery store excursions. bringing fashion back down to my level. 

    Gotta have my Pops. 


  • Millicent

    Damnnn Gina nice calves

  • Luà

    I saw them on The Outnet too and I’d loooove to have them but (even if on sale) I can’t affortd it 🙁


  • TeuntjeVDW

    Awesomeness! xx.

  • Beckerman Girls

    Azzey baby…call me maybe?!?!! hahaaa!!!! LOVVVVE this post! U really do it ALL!!!!! U can play basketball while grocery shopping and even put out fires at the hydrant!!! U r officially our superwoman! U got mad powers babe! WE LOVE U! kisses
    xoThe Beckerman Girls

  • Maria Onorio


    Maria Onorio

  • Those shoes are AMAZING! Of course they would love sugary cereals because they are like so sweet!

  • haha, the things you do to get a funny picture! I love all of the shots! 

  • If these are not hot, then I don’t know what is…

  • Valentina

    You! You! You always make me laugh you! “sea-men” & “did you have to report me” lolx10 the shoes are gorg!!!! Hope to find them in my size

  • Oppositelipstick
  • zayda

    Omygoodness you are great! of course we all need Alaia shoes duh!

  • Cassiedzienny
  • Eva Kraaijeveld

    What a great photos and those shoes are to die for!

  • Fey

    Amazing photos! I love it:) mainly the picture taken in the grocery store!


  • Clare
  • Fkxoxo

    LOL The last picture is unexpected and really funny!

  • tabimasen

    Ok this might be my favorite post ever! Photos, words, and lots of unladylike legs akimbo just completely define Man Repeller. Love it!

  • Aubrey Rasmussen

    love these photos. and loved you in p’trique’s video. died and watched it over and over. 
    could you pass me the chubby stick?
    i had to leave bc there’s no wifi

  • The Garage Starlets
  • those are indeed amazing – as are your legs

    ♥ ThankFifi

  • fashiondary.

    love the photos! and the shoes are amazing off course. xx

  • Gine

    I love these pictures in the supermarket! I will try that next time I go for grocery shopping….

  • Milktheif

    hahaha the photos are hilarious!
    Milk thief blog 

  • these are great! Now do they come with the Cereal as a free gift?

    Angel’s Point of View

  • Anna

    They look fantastic, can you really wear them all day long?

  • Bugai Irina

    So elegant and sophisticated!

  • Frenchie_75

    OMG your calf is as tone as Lance on steroids- are you training for the Olympics

  • You should be a leg model 🙂

  • Scored a pair so fast I think I gave myself whiplash.

    The pay phone is my favorite.

  • omg u’re crazy i freakin’ love this idea lol!! Alaia’s shoes and clothes are just beyond amazing! loves the decadence no?

    xx nathan.niche

    IMPORTANT: I just switched from STYLE-NICHE.blogspot to THE-PROVOKER.COM to be more official but sadly lost ALL my followers, I remember you followed me and I often comment here so it would be a huge favor if you can re-follow me. Thanks babe.

    The Provoker:

  • Seekingstyleblog

    xo Jennifer

  • Jessica

    These photos are epic.


    The Lovelorn 

  • Chelsea

    Good God those are great shoes!

  • Doni Brown

    Completely love the whole aesthetic of this whole shoot!

  • Claire R-M

    it’s like your feet are enclosed in some badass jail for stylish bitches n hoes. 

    some creme de la creme shit right there

  • Style-Squared by Z&M


  • Fashiioncarpet


  • Spanish Parisienne

    So funny! Love these sandals!!

  • Well those are definitely worth the outrageous price tag. Look at everything you can do while wearing them!


  • Madeline Della Mora

    This was such an entertaining post. I truly admire your ability to icorporate fashion and comedy in one place!

  • lalala9393
  • emmaattheedit

    These are so godamn sexy, Alaia…sigh….so dreamy!

    xxx the edit xxx

  • Lindoo *-*

  • Um. wow. these heels leave me speechless.

  • Genie

    These are so hawt! I love the pattern/weave, really cool and eye catching indeed!


  • Ina

    Those are some sexy legs sista!

  • Brijetblog

    All I can think about is how much gash you flashed around NY with those Alaia’s just jumping up on every phone box/fire hydrant they saw! I dig it.

  • CJ

    Despite the fact that I’m a guy, I love these shoes and I would definitely wear them and by “definitely wear them” I mean that I would maybe wear them if I got drunk one night in Tahiti/the Netherlands/probably Kentucky for the hell of it.



  • Contato Vestiroque

    Meninas adoro seu blog quando poder passa no meu bjosss m

  • coe

    Leandra, love you, thanks for the heads-up on the Alaia sale at the Outnet. . . will you please reveal the make and color of the nail polish you are wearing. Sorry if you already have. I searched but didn’t see it. . . 

    • Leandra

       Fifth Avenue by Essie!

      • coe

        you are the best! thank you

  • Lola Reggy

    Loving the images and of course another pair of greatness on your feet 😉


  • sks

    absolutely love this post! your perfectly versatile alaias were made for spam and fire hydrants.


  • Alberto from Colombia

    Mom of “Cow & Chicken” Cartoon really got rich!

  • LC

    Dang it!! I am so mad I am just now seeing these shoes. I really really need! Can they be found anywhere??