Lace on Lace on Lace

Hey!!!! Happy Monday!!!!!! It’s Monday!!!! Fun!!!! Shining sun!!!! Andy Cohen!!!!! What are you doing!!!! I’m just exclamating!!!!!! And stuff!!!!! Last night I tweeted that I think television should be shoppable–I think you agree with me there but what you don’t know and is slightly embarrassing on my behalf to admit is this: I was watching Shahs of Sunset when the idea struck. What’s more? I was looking at GG. In my defense she was wearing a pair of really well ripped light wash jeans. That show is a true example of fascination of the abomination–something even Joseph Conrad couldn’t have supposed when he sat down to pen Heart of Darkness so let’s just pretend this never happened and talk about lace on lace on lace, rap that.
Today, TMR takes you to that very familiar blue wall, the one you’ll wish I never came upon when all is said and done. Forget the scene for a moment though and ponder the fashion. The fashion. Maybe you can’t see it but those are lace adorned jeans–the same ones I advocated for a certain plea to welcome rain. And what does one do when she comes upon jeans of this variety? She fabric blocks, enter the blouse that advocates exposed nipple. But white on white is a tale as old as time.
The incorporation of eyelash heels and an orange blazer that does more than just stand several inches long with single breast composition may give some, you know, fashion pertinence. A fairly new story, if you will. Will you? Please? Oh good. Back track to the ‘does more’ though, re: orange blazer. I’m speaking of butt-vents. And in matters of the dance move with most swag, everyone knows butt vents are obligatory.

Boom. Extended butt. Vent. Swag. While this is only a still life, I think you see what I mean. If you don’t, dig deep into your most illustrative of minds. Think outside the box. Let your brain run free with ideas.

Free, I tell ya. Run free. In all seriousness, it’s not easy to peg the perfect blazer, it’s kind of like the reinterpreted version of Goldilocks. Some fall too short, some too long, some too boxy, some too slim–and while I can’t speak to your aesthetic, I’ve conjured up my own brand of perfect blazer–it’s what’s shown above. Sitting right below the butt clad in butt vents, featuring slim arm holes and a body that’s designed for a rectangular box standing up right, not woman, this is success in its most raw form.

Charles Henry blouse, Vanessa Bruno jeans, Joseph blazer, Maison Martin Margiela heels, Oliver Peoples sunglasses. Photos by Naomi Shon.

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