In Partnership With
An Obligatory Post about Practicality

In partnership with Sorel.

Look, I may not be the type to stand behind functional dressing but I can likely guess that a couple…dozen of you are. And so when Sorel hired me to style their boots in my most man repelling of ways, I said: yes sure, I’ll do the dirty and alas here we are, you on one side, me on the other, offering tips that will help you embrace and style the necessary footwear to resists water and snow and things of that sort. Today seemed the perfect time to unveil this post what with the recent climate conditions halting satin shoes from prevailing. Yes sure, the suns out now, but then again, this weather is more fickle than the economy, and the economy, more fickle than a menstruating woman thus suggesting weather is female. What? That doesn’t even make sense. See below.

blouse: Etoile Isabel Marant, jeans: J Brand, boots: Sorel
Ra, ra, ra, look at me, look at me, wearing stereotypical Lake Placid wear in the form of boot and a plaid shirt. This was really thematic in that I had also been holding a mug of…nothing that was going to trick into thinking I was drinking hot cocoa. That would in turn convey a subconscious point and that point would ooze with utter coziness. But I’m no trickster, so I lost the mug and then creativity got the best of me when I directed my attention to the double sink (milk and meat…anyone? Anyone?) and…
Made damn sure to show you just how water-resistant these chunky dudes really are. “Oh my god, this is so funny I’m running my shoes under a sink! Ha! Ha!” And really now, if they can stand the test of kitchen water, they can likely stand the test of…anything. Anything, I tell ya. Todos. Now, I won’t lie, when I’d signed on to do this with Sorel, I was a little nervous. I’d never really written about something practical before. In fact, I’m known to sport underwear in public, tank tops in twenty degree weather and sequined pants to sleep, if runways tell me to. It was because of that, I’d had doubts and then I saw the boots came and said oh my shit, what good is a Man Repeller post without what looks like the very shoes that instigated the entire blog. See below.
Remember my banner circa last Fall? Probably not, but I can bet you most definitely do remember the infamous Chanel Yeti. It was one of the great tests of Karl’s time: if this look can get rave reviews, why, anything I do will. These particular boots are also wedged, so, you know, if the fur exterior doesn’t scream femininity, a big fat wedge most certainly will.
I call this look: “Hey Aspen, how’s your ass been?” It’s the white pant effect. Which leads me to my next point, or rather, question. If you had to pick, absolutely had to, who do you think wears the yeti foot better? Is it me or, you know, a cross country supermodel that may or may not double as a muse to the most important influencers worldwide? Nevermind. Forget I asked that. I’m just going to qite while I’m ahead. But before I sign off, I offer this: should I have won your heart, and you find yourself in the market for practical (or impractical) footwear to battle inclement wear, mosey on over to their site.
I’ll be here, just walking on ledge and what have you.
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