Art of The Slit Pant

This week in ways to rule Monday and not let Monday rule you: slit pants. And while I wish this was more a story about the hazards of non-stretch-too-small denim, it’s not. No, this is more about giving your shoes another reason to celebrate themselves. Which brings me back to my point about ruling your Monday. Because, you know, exposed well-crafted footwear rule every day of the week.


Image via 5inchandup

I’d seen these interesting sweatpant-esque grey pants on bloggers like Sandra from 5 inch and up (photographed above) and Elin from Style by Kling. After doing some hefty–and by hefty I mean clicking the multiple links-to-buy–research I learned they were the same pants, by Nowhere, sold virtually…nowhere. In the United States, at least. It was disheartening but I figured I’d move on. And then I didn’t. I couldn’t disregard the notion of long pants that acted to flatter and elongate the leg in the very same way that say, flared pants do, while simultaneously allowing a rad shoe to show itself off, correcting one of the biggest downfalls of bell bottoms. So I put my thinking cap on and did a little closet investigating. After ruining snipping up a couple pair of too-short-to-work jeans, I found a fairly new pair of McQ bumster jeans. I hadn’t been able to wear them too often as they were too long, and yet to skinny. Eureka, snip et voila:


Jeans: McQueen, Pumps: Chanel

See that! Like a peep show, for the foot. And this does after all qualify for some good grade A shoe porn. Roight, roight? Yes sure, I’ll admit that it’s a fairly amateur cutting job but I figured, if I could properly chop my own hair, jeans shouldn’t be too hard either. Doesn’t the raw innocence of a couple uneven ripped hem lines just add to the overall allure? …No? Come on, see the vision. One more photo for good measure.


Really, a peep show. And veiny feet chic. What do you think now? In case you intend to try it yourself here are a couple things I learned while doing the deed: 1. The jeans must be long. If they’re too short you’ll end up looking like an overgrown elf in proper elf small attire, think 3.1. 2. The leg should be fairly skinny. If it’s not, it sort of defeats the purpose of the entire project. Flare legs are flared already…duh. 3. When snipping, literally snip. A small incision at dead center of the front of the jean will do. After that’s done start tearing at the rip with your hands. Makes everything look more organic. And we are all about Whole Foods.


Check me out checking my slits out. Gosh, this feels to meta. Now…say for the heck of it, you were me and I were domestic dog of some sort with a opposable thumbs, how would I we caption to following photo?


Yup, you guessed it: Humans! They’re just like us! They pee on trees!


Jacket: Carven, T-shirt: Chaser, Necklace: DANNIJO

Finally, a normal shot to show you how perfectly the full outfit comes together. I’d argue it’s most likely due to the newly snipped jeans. My legs aren’t really that long, you see. It’s an awesome illusion, and repeller or not, let’s be real: we all want miles for legs. Roight, roight? Okay now, your turn. I think. Are you going to host a peep show for your feet? Should you choose to, do share. Before I send you off though…


Figured you may have been interested in an accessory zoom so here you have it. Proenza Schouler PS11, DANNIJO arm party to the left, Jennifer Fisher to the right. Okay for real now, chop, chop, get snipping! Man, I slay myself. Pun intent squared.

Photos by Aram Bedrossian

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