The internet in my apartment is temporarily unavailable. I wish I knew why, but I don’t. I haven’t even had a chance to peep my morning papers since Sunday. What I do know is that I feel like a more pathetic version of Carrie Bradshaw in the current moment because I’m sitting at a Starbucks squinting my eyes and making unusual facial gestures. The more pathetic part kicks in because a. there is no voice of God that sounds an awful lot like me speaking over me to you, readers, and because b. I live with my parents.
In any case though, hello. While I’m delivering this public service announcement, I should also lend a hearty thank you to all prospective co-workers who have applied! You’re the bees knees! And some of you are really weird! Which is fantastic! Unfortunately though, the position has been filled. By a whole lot o’crazy.
So now, in more irrelvant news: