A Lesson in Posing, Religious Observance Begs Sabbatical

Repellows, it pains me to announce a week long sabbatical starting right here and now in favor of substituting bread with cardboard squares more traditionally called “matzah.” Unfortunately though, there is no other way: I am very, very, busy reciting the story of Exodus with my extended family in the Sunshine State while simultaneously radiating my skin. I’m so white, I’m green will no longer be my mantra come the next time you see me. Actually, it might.

I promise to post photos of my diapers cool bathing suits and neat floppy hats upon return but until then, here are a few poses you should acquaint yourself with so that when I’m back, our bond will feel even closer.

The Quintessential Blogger Pose. Swinging bucket bag, hidden face by hair, flinging arms et al.
The Running-Off-This-Terrace-Sionara-Mothafucka Pose. But it doesn’t include actual suicide so don’t get any crazy ideas again about me and psychiatrist “just chatting to chat,” mom.
 The Yoga Pose. And you know this doesn’t work unless you’re wearing flare leg jeans and wedges. Serious bonus points for closed eyeballs.
The Man Repeller Pose. I see London, I see France, I see…yo’ass, girlfriend! And even so…not even a small part of me wants to sleep with you.
The other Man Repeller Pose. Because if you’re not going to give me bunny ears, someone else should. And I nominate myself.
And finally, The Pose that tricks you into thinking I’m human, not dancer. 
shirt: Acne, flare jeans: Textile Elizabeth + James, necklace: Jimmy Choo x H&M;, leopard print belt: J Crew, rings: Kimberly Baker and DANNIJO, shoes: Christian Louboutin, bucket bag: Hobo International. 

I miss you already. My tear drops turn to cries and those cries turn to wails and the wails turn to…a reason to don harem pants! It’s a quick fix. Now, Happy Easter and Passover. Please wear neons, pastels, lots of organza and flatforms to keep the flame of my soul ignited this week.
               Your Resident Drop Crotch
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  • hahahhaha this post made me lolocaust


  • i frequently opt for pose number one, feigning being coy! love the bunny ears, perchance i shall adopt that one in the near future…. easter?

    enjoy california, but please avoid melanoma.


  • So fresh these pics… Loooooove

    Street Style GIOVANNA BATTAGLIA: http://magmoiselle.fr

  • Can't wait to see your swimsuit pics and beach poses, haha πŸ˜€
    That Jimmy Choo necklace is absolutely adorable!


  • LOL your posts always make me laugh.

    A Girl's Next Best Friend

  • haha, happy easter.

  • that necklace is bad asssssssssssssss.

  • Have a Happy Passover! I think I'm legit the only person in the world who enjoys matzo oh well. lol, I'll eat it all. Love love love this outfit. Definitely one of my favorites those jeans are INCREDIBLE and love the striped top and that necklace killer look.

    Collections & Shopbop GIVEAWAY

  • those jeans are rad. i remember we used to do that to our jeans when i was in high school..maybe i should start again. have fun. cheers!


  • You are amazing.

  • I love that you can't stop quoting that song, are we human or are we dancer. I remember when it first came out I made up this whole story in my head about how they were german and didn't actually speak english in order to justify those lyrics. Anyway, just glad to see someone else shares my love of the absolute nonsense that is that song.


  • Cracking up off this post!! love ur humor! It made me laugh even harder because the "quintessential blogger pose" is in my latest outfit post and many others…hahahahaha


  • haha.. love the poses!! Cool outfit πŸ™‚
    Safe travels..

  • You're so funny. Love the outfit too!

  • I don't know what I'm going to do without my daily dose of Repellent. I guess I must take to the streets in fully man repelling gear (I'll start with harem pants, obvs) to try and contain my emotional loss for the week.

  • Love this!
    and have a good Passover and vacation! I will make sure to have a lovely Easter πŸ˜‰

  • Girl, you're the best!!! You always make me laugh!!! And seriously I don't know how I'm gonna do without your always hilarious posts….

  • i'm rolling on the floor laughigh: this post is so funny! you rock!


  • Haha you never fail to entertain


  • HAHA You're too funny! Thank you πŸ˜‰ Have a great holiday.


  • Bunny ears! I ordered a pair of fisherman harem pants from Taiwan about a fucking year ago (3 weeks…) and can't wait for them to arrive!! I'll think of you fondly when I wear them!

  • what a great pair of wide legs! i have been looking for a pair that isn't extremely dramatic, and this is the perfect one.
    xx, http://wordbyjessie.com

  • Easily made my morning

  • I think Man Repeller Pose #1 is fantastic!! A true keeper! We will miss your posts and repelling advice but enjoy the matzoh!! And fab wide leg pants BTW!!

    Recipes, Fashion, Marriage

  • Hilarious! And I'm glad you put out flared jeans. So refreshing to see in Blogland!


  • This is a funny one! LOL! Xoxo, A.J.

  • I think the Yoga pose should become a new industry standard… but that's just me.

  • I am so glad I woke up and read this post. Just made my day! HAHA the "The Running-Off-This-Terrace-Sionara-Mothafucka Pose" is hilarious and really is seen so often in blogs! Haven't done that yet but I'm thinking about using it soon. πŸ˜‰

    XO thefashiondyad.com

  • Iva

    such a long legs and lovely ass=D

  • Love the poses! lol

    I love your jeans!



  • great bag and shoes !! x

  • of course i love the Killers, fabulous song!! well yoga keeps your fashion mind fresh and quirky. love the casual outfit, the jeans rocks, very hard to find a perfect jeans like that. love the simple tee. perfect with the necklace, it turns up the volume. i am not a fan of summer wedges, but i love these ones because of the black, it makes it a lot more interesting.

  • This is one of the most wearable looks I've seen you don in a while….I like it too very cool casual.

  • Hetzi

    Wearing harem pants right now – check
    wore neon sports top earlier – check

    the rest to follow tomorrow!

    your blog is amazeballs, but you don't need me to tell you that…

  • those jeans are amazing!


    Le Kiss Kiss- Click Here!

  • whoa, i've got some practicing to do!

  • you rock my socks with your sarcasm and funny/odd/out of context phrases. lots of time for you!

  • Love the poses and the outfit.
    Also not looking forward to matzah…

  • Mel

    Frickin' hilarious!! hahaha

    I have trouble coming up with poses for pictures. This is really helpful! I will be giving "The Running-Off-This-Terrace-Sionara-Mothafucka Pose" a try real soon! πŸ˜‰

    Those jeans are amaze-balls by the way! You look great!

  • since now I adore your blog, ehehe πŸ™‚

  • Hahaha, I'll hold up bunny ears behind your head for you! πŸ˜€

    Peace, Katricia.

  • Haha, love the post and the last comment made it!!


  • Oh gosh I always laugh so much when I read your posts. And now a week without you! The agony

  • love it so hilarious, great photos really loving the hair and the outfit! will be waiting until the next post!

    giveaway on my blog!


  • Genius! My favourite is the yoga pose with the eyes shut. WOuld never have worked had your eyes been open.

  • Those jeans are out of control. Love, love, and love. XO Valerie


  • Definitely will try your yoga pose on my next post lol


  • Those jeans are fantastic on your figure. Love "The Killers" reference. Have a great Passover/Easter week/weekend!

    much love.

  • Chag Sameach!! I'm preparing my outfit for the seder as we speak (harem trousers and a floppy felt hat in burnt orange, obviously)!


  • i swear your blog is hilarious! i love the mix of fashion, humor, and your personality. its no wonder why your blog is so popular!

  • That necklace is amazing!!!!

  • Ya'll need to brush up on your Japanese, sis:

    for future use in your cheesy blogger poses, it's "SAYONARA" πŸ˜€

  • haha your funny! Love the yoga pose!

    follow me at:

  • Loving your blog!

    XX, Monse Fuentes.-

  • Your poses are the greatest. Love those jeans too! Raaaadical! We'll all miss you this week! xox

    –Megan//The Martian Tide

  • I read fashion blogs but never post on them. Like, ever.

    But I had to.

    I love you.

    Oops, too much, too soon? You are hilarious. And I like your clothes. I'll stop now.

  • Amanda

    Dear Man Repeller,

    I've just stared reading your blog. It's quite addictive. I have the sudden urge to wear bowners and socks with sandals.

    Question for you, how can I be a man repeller in a country where RealFeel temperature is 41 deg. C (91 deg. F) and humid? Help. πŸ™

    Amanda from the Philippines

  • your posts never cease to make me laugh one way or another~~~ you too hilarious gf! Love the posing 101. Yoga pose be my fave :DD Have a lovely Passover!!! xo Diana

  • Nice outfit! love the top and the little bag.
    take care

  • freakin' hilarious :-)! enjoy the hols xxx

  • Love your pics! You've got nice outfits!

  • Boooo! But have fun and see you in a weeks time!

    LOVE LOVE LOVE your jeans, I haven't donned up a pair of flairs in quite some time now, hmmmm TEMPTED!

  • Anonymous

    So amazing. I love ur style and sense of humor
    Will sooo miss you during your sabbatical
    Enjoy your holiday

  • It's true…. the look away pose is a must have on all fashion blogs… I do it because I'm too embarrassed to look at the camera… even though I don't seem to have any shame in anything else I do.. or wear.. or say. Whatever. It's my favorite.

  • Rockin poses! Now if you could just show me how to rock poses while taking my own picture… πŸ˜‰


  • i loved the funny poses lol and i wanna a jeans like this one!


  • Hanne

    it's SO amusing to read, and look at your pictures. Amazing blog!

    regards from Norway πŸ™‚

  • Anonymous

    in man repeller pose 1 it looks like your giving birth to a giant troll

  • Is that blouse see-trough? You can't see it on camera, but I just think you can see though it… but do you feel ok knowing that at any breeze someone can know exactly what you feel? :)) I love transparency, I'm just a bit afraid of what it would really look like, I want to avoid as much as I can a trashy look.


  • i can't stop laughing. this is hilarious. good one girl.

  • You have become my Fave. blogger!!!! Keep it up!!
    Pics are Hilarious!!!
    Who takes all your Pictures?


    twitter me @itstrudeau

  • Ajda

    you are so cute ! love ya!

  • I forgot how funny your posts are – I must stop by more often.

    Being a part of the 'model life' in my recent past makes the mock-seriousness of these poses even more entertaining.

    Thanks for the chuckle. πŸ™‚


  • The first photo is FAB! xx <3Peace<3 from Soleil


  • Anonymous

    Love you!
    Take care!

  • im into the necklace! you have quite the sense of humor. the first image is priceless

    check out my new post! i think youll like it

  • Sam

    Particularly fond of your trademark pose!


  • Luisa


  • you rule!

  • Happy Passover, bubeleh. And your Man Repeller pose had me cracking me up.

  • Jessie

    on this highest of holy days, should we not take a moment to honor a trailblazing repellowneer no longer with us?



  • I love your outfit and I think that many guys would too… Another ensemble like this and you might have to change the name of your blog! πŸ˜‰


  • Happy Passover! Enjoy time with your family! You and your posts will be terribly missed.

  • These are perfect! haha love the yoga pose.


  • It took me four hours to scroll to the bottom of this monster list of comments, in order to say one word: Mazel!

  • You are so funny. Love reading your posts.

    Love the The Quintessential Blogger Pose. Love the Man Repeller Pose too. Hope you have a great Easter.

  • I loved this post so much I had to blog and illustrate it! Love the humor- the Bestest! xx from Soleil


  • This is much much too good.


  • Love this look on you. Not quite sure if you are repelling hard enough though!

  • If I was a man, I would totally be turned on by your ass in the air pose πŸ˜‰

  • MGF

    i think you are the funniest blogger ever.
    Glad to meet you, and see you tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, and the day after after tomorrow… !

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