Well, crazy culottes, Fashion Week starts tomorrow. That means it unofficially started yesterday. And that means I’ve been wearing six turbans on one head for two days now. In any case, The New York Post commissioned my silly ass to write a story for their paper running today about Getting Fashion Week Ready. As in most my street style installments, I lend tips to NY Post readers on becoming the feather of Scott Schuman’s eye. Because everyone knows, this week is only as important as the high volume of blogs you land on.
Step 1: Give the Black Swan a run for her feathers. Look something like a potato sack while doing so.
Step 2: Have more feathers? Throw them in. Have a mom with remnants of the 80s in the form of navy leather Alaia cut-out belt? Add that too.
…You can also stop in your tracks if you please to pretend as though you are the subject of a Seventeen Magazine fashion spread. Optional. Highly recommended.
Step 3: Add a vest, Bonus points if its leather because swans that ride motorcycles are really hot right now and this look may exude just that.
Step 4: Bare feet and legs aren’t going to do, if only because current weather conditions call for hypothermic reactions–though I do suppose purple legs could make for a great color-blocking story. Just try for floral print tights (hipster points for pre-ripped seams) and a pair of socks to pair with some sandals for now. We’re almost there, Repellers!
Step 5: Add a military jacket because, you know, when in doubt, utility out.
Step 6: Holy moly me oh my, feathers and fur, feathers and fur. Just like a woman trying to seduce you holding a sign that reads “chock full o’STDs.” Eh? Eh? No? Anyone? Sigh, no one gets me.