So, how ’bout them Oscars? Though I thoroughly appreciated Anne Hathaway’s tux and Cate Blanchett’s decision to wear an immaculately designed beaded Givenchy toilet seat, this blog post has nothing to do with that. I just feel like it’s wrong to disregard the Oscars the morning after. Worse than disregarding a one night stand the morning after, even. JK, what do we know about one night stands?
And onto other things: in this week’s installment of From Man Getter to Man Repeller, I Benjamin Button like it’s nobodies business. What’s that? You don’t understand? Read on.
Holy moly me oh my! Boob cups! I see London, I see France, I see Man Repeller dressed as…a woman? Did I seriously just refer to myself in the third person? Do you suddenly want to date me? Hold your horses.
While I do quite adore the dress, the prospect of turning hetero-heads on a night out just seems so wrong. And perhaps, normal? I wasn’t going to have it. Normal is not my forte. I once retorted when a friend suggested I were crazy, “You aren’t wrong. But why be common when you can be crazy?” Something to think about, people.
I traded in the Louboutins for a pair of brogues and funky socks that feature clouds and thunder on them. Who needs a weather man when you can have my socks tell you whether or not you’ll need an umbrella. The conversation will go something like this. “So, Man Repeller, what’s the weather like today?” At that point I will answer, “talk to the foot.” You will comply. And we will both be happy.
Circling back to my point about pulling a Benjamin Button, in an effort to get back in touch with my inner kindergartner, I added a vintage hair bow that my grandmother gave me. She bought it at a fancy hair-product store in Paris. Though you can’t see it up close and personal, it looks and feels like disco-dancing dinosaur skin.