Three Accessories That Will Instantly Desexify Your Look

Now that you’ve become familiar with the concept of man-repelling and the glory that comes with it [not you guys, silly buns, I’m talking to Lucky readers], let’s talk accessories. [Things that look like vaginas] you’d be surprised at how effective a simple scarf, hat or necklace can be in an effort to shield off men. Bonus points for any jewelry accents that resemble violent weaponry. Crazy girl with bullets, table for one. 

Below, find three items that will make even the most sultry lingerie at Victoria’s Secret look like sartorial pesticide.

1. A Plaid Poncho

imagia via Chuck Grant
dress: Kimberly Taylor, military jacket: Veda, shoes: Pierre Hardy for Gap, hat: Pendleton, poncho: questionable

Regarding the poncho displayed, questionable is not a brand. This plaid number comes with an anecdote. You see, last year I was in Paris when I walked into a vintage shop in Le Marais and spotted the poncho, that would double as a chunky scarf. It was 8 Euros, 11 US Dollars at the time. Cool, right? Thirfty, right? Wrong. Two weeks later, back in the land of familiar currency, I passed Union Square’s Forever 21 where I saw an enormous rack of my vintage poncho from Paris just sitting around, lonely, selling for $4 a pop. I looked at the label inside my poncho, it was in fact, Heritage 1981. Man Repeller fail.

Sob stories about my incompetent ass aside though, do note that I’ve turned my tight black mini dress into a man repeller. Granted, I added a temple topper to complete the look’s potential but even without the hat, it must be said: I look pretty silly (read: awesome.)

2. A Fur Headdress

Sometimes I fear I may run out of blog material, and then Martin Margiela does something like this. I don’t care if you pair it with a Kim Kardashian for Bebe sequined mini dress with butt pads implanted into the behind, the headdress will send your y-chromosome counterpart running. Fast. After all, you look like a grizzly bear. At $4450, the price is pretty steep, but think about it: you can’t put a price tag on the prospect of having what looks like a live animal chilling at the top of your head. You just can’t. Get yours at SSENCE.

3. Weapons as Jewels

DANNIJO’s Cosima necklace (pictured right) is a particular favorite of mine and that speaks poorly to its ability to impress your man friend. Once while donning Assad Mounser’s moonage daydream necklace (at left,) a man friend asked me, “is the necklace a sign of the pain thats to come? Look at those bullets!” He’s no longer a man friend, just a man. Consider the trend a fashionable way to protect ourselves.

One last short note from me to you, fellow repellows. Sans Lucky. In the event you have lost your mind and are looking to man get this holiday season…why don’t you try wearing his dick on a chain?

Compliments of Vivienne Westwood.

You know what they say, diamonds are a girl’s best friend. 

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  • I have a plaid poncho as well and my fiance is def scared of it.

    Those necklaces are awesome.

  • HAH! that dick charm… I bet its stupidly expensive too! love the spiked necklaces!

  • emily m

    hi great post, as usual!

    i'm no animal right's activist (i thoroughly enjoy the man repelling qualities of a good animal carcass on my bod), but i checked out the giant headdress and it's made of murmansky. that's a species of canid. it's worth noting the extra cock-blocking effect of having a dead pooch on your head. woof.

  • Eli

    The dick necklace is horrific and therefore AWESOME. Is the diamond part sparkly spunk?
    I can't–I don't–MY EYES— help me. Please find someone who bought that and wears it with their purssy!

  • That Dannijo necklace is ridic. I love it! XOXO Valerie

  • Anonymous

    the dannijo necklace is on the right, right? soooo amaze. where to get??

  • @Eli @Vfriedrich @Anon Try the site or shopbop for purchase. And yes, it's on the right!
    X MR

  • OMG that penis necklace is fantastic I should totally pair it with a headdress and begin talking like a valley girl when I go out. It would be like totally amazing and scary at the same time. Haha I love your blog and weapons that get turned into jewelry it makes me happy.

  • that plaid poncho is virtually identical my picnic rug…it's not rubber backed is it??

  • Brand new big fan of your blog. As hard as you try to repel them, I'm betting plenty of men still go nuts for you. Funny trumps obviously-sexy for lots of dudes. I'm loving your irreverence and boldness!

  • My Vivienne Westwood jewelry pieces are like man-repelling magic… I don't have the penis charm, but my VW Wooden Horn Whistle Necklace gets the same, phallic effect.

  • you're hilarious!
    Love the looks as well(:

  • I think i'd love the poncho/scarf if it wasn't plaid. I have this horrible aversion to plaid that's pretty ridiculous, but so far, incurable.

  • I've got a Burberry plaid poncho that looks quite similar to yours, apart from the tipical Burberry print, but shape and fringes are the same.. so I have to convince myself that everytime I wear it I'm a perfect man repeller..
    no words to describe the dick necklace, especially the drop detail..

  • At the risk of sounding crazy…I LOVE you Man Repeller!!!!!! Going to check you out at Lucky.

  • I read one of your comments on a blog called
    We sat and laughed for hours on the website. It shows txt mess sent to wrong person.
    Example: The boss.
    Sms: Would you take a bath with me tonight? Kisses on your neck

    / M

  • I just discovered your blog, your writing is hilarious, please keep it coming!
    Your poncho story is fantastic. haha Sounds like something that would happen to me.

  • You are a riot LOVE your blog!

  • K.B.

    You can get look no. 2 at a fraction of the cost from Revolve:;=All+Best+Sellers&n;=r

  • um, i need that dick on a chain, like, now.
    really glad i just stumbled upon this blog cause holy shit it rules

  • Anonymous

    that noodle necklace is so very ancient Rome-they were used as good luck charms! ;~)

  • Anonymous

    where can i get this necklace, i NEED it like NOW !

  • Or you could just go straight dirty and wear a "pearl necklace" like this one

  • So guys wouldn't like it I showed my adoration for the penis by wearing a dick necklace? hmmmmmmm.

    That headdress is uhhhh….. awesome. haha.

  • I am so so in love with Assad Mounser, it's kind of sad considering I will never in my wildest dreams have enough money to afford his pieces. I am endlessly envious of you, oh Man Repeller of wisdom. Thank you for the inspiration. <3

  • MR

    @mizriz I borrowed the Assad from a friend! The semi-repeller to be exact. XMR

  • omg, the necklace, too much.. and the headdress..i'm still cracking up. can't breathe lol


  • I was searching for an image of the Vivienne Westwood penis chain to show a friend the latest addition to my jewellery box, and came across your blog!

    I've been wearing it non stop for a week, even to my really really conservative job. I was serving a woman today at work, and it slipped out from inside my blouse. She said "Oh, I like your chain…. Wait, is that what I think it is?". I feigned innocence and asked her what she thought it was. It took me all I had not to laugh in her face!


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  • i love the necklace. 🙂