Hi, August

So, do you miss me? I took an elongated weekend. Rule #1: Never take Mondays off. Anyway, just because my fingers were on break, doesn’t mean my brain was!

Here’s what you missed when the storms I call thoughts exerted themselves on to me.

1. I used to say White Lightning may or may not be my favorite blogger ever, and then she posted a photo of these shoes and so, I dropped the may not.

You may not understand, let me explain. These are DOC MARTEN FOR OPENING CEREMONY! That’s like having your pubic hair do a collaboration with a yeast infection. You know why? Because both unions yield the same effect: uncomfortable VJ. They’re pony hair (the shoes, not your lady parts) and modeled after jelly sandals. I want them so hard. By the transitive property of geometry I may have just added pubic hair and yeast infection to my wish list.

2. If the passage above isn’t a clear indication that I am staying true to my alias, perhaps this photo is.

Three words: velvet bolero rhinestones. Shoulder pads. Heavy ones. My mother’s wedding. 1986.

3. On Saturday, I asked a friend what he considers the most man repelling item his lady friends wear. He quickly responded “jeggings. They’re not jeans, they’re not leggings. Make up your mind.” That’s all fine and well but obviously, he hasn’t heard of PAJAMA JEANS! They’re pajamas, they’re jeans, they flare. There’s a video. Watch it.

4. I learned some insightful things since Kanye West started tweeting, too. A. He doesn’t really like speaking in complete sentences. B. He loves glasses, I don’t mean sunglasses. C. Rhinestone pillows are not comfortable to sleep on. D. Baby mama jets. E. Classic music is tight, yo.

5. Overalls are cool if you’re into femullets. Mull it over.

Nothing says femininity quite like blond highlights and a bra to match your earrings, take it from her.
Image via Stylesightings

And nothing says bone me from behind like rolling off a farm in your fat uncle’s onesie, red lipstick and Ray Ban sunnies.

I’m going to France Wednesday…I can’t wait to take this shit overseas!

Mail me, ManRepeller@gmail.com or follow the best Twitter account known to mankind @ManRepeller

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  • Oh and we can't wait for more hilarity from the epicentre of fashion…
    Those shoes are fabulous.. which is, I suppose, why most men would not like them, because most men have no taste whatsoever. But if men have no taste then why did I post about wearing a boy's jacket…
    Must be cos I'm a girl, and girls are deep and, you know, complicated…(something else that repels the lads, as if I needed help in that department).

  • truely…..hilarious, and those overalls or dungerees as we say in the UK that was me right down to the Raybans, bought in a thrift store when I lived in LA in '93….how cool did I think I looked?!? If I ever consider the pajama jeans have me shot…

  • This is freakin' hilarious. I'm thinking Pajama jeans are the ultimate compromise for my colleague who insists pjs are suitable for public (no, not pubic) outings!

    anyway, here's my gratuituous push: http://www.little-scribbler.blogspot.com

  • leslie

    hahahahahaha! How did I live without you? My life was grim and dull – I thought there was something wrong with me. How exciting to join the sisterhood of witty repellers and let my freak flag (and clothes) fly…

  • Dude, like I said earlier, you said it all. "And nothing says bone me from behind like rolling off a farm in your fat uncle's onesie." Seriously, I can't add anything to make this better. I'm cracking up!

  • Anonymous

    All this talk about Opening Ceremony, made me realize you kinda look like one of their models. http://www.openingceremony.us/products.asp?productid=21698

  • "That's like having your pubic hair do a collaboration with a yeast infection" – best thing i ever read on a blog. Contender for 'best thing I've ever read ever.

    I just found your blog. I heart it big timez.

    I will repel the hell out of the ENTIRE male population GLADY with the OC shoes I posted.


  • Anonymous

    no, those pajama jeans do not look like they were made by 'some european designer'

    no, just….no

    (some of my friends mums would totally wear them)

  • Anonymous

    If you read the September issue of InStyle they teach you how to style up your sweats. My opinion – uhm no thank you, I burned anything with drawstrings after college!!!

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