An Attempt at Channeling Kelly Kapowski Gone Wrong

We can understand why someone would want to emulate Kelly Kapowski.

After all she had two of the hunkiest mangos (A.C “Soul Glow” Slater and Slicked-Back-Zack Morris, for the uninitiated) at Bayside High fighting for her attention. But that was 1986, it’s 2010. Take a look below, at a prime example documenting the evolution of fashion.

Try to peel your eyes away from the southern region of her torso for a moment and consider this: through present day, fashion lurvers and flamingos alike have unanimously voted that the 80s were among the worst years in the history of sartorialism (yes, it’s true. I made this word up.) That was until just now, when I saw this Northern European bright blinder giving the departed decade a run for its neon. Kelly never would have worn a pink t shirt in belly shirt formation with an orange patterned tank top underneath it. Style points for matching your big ass earrings to the tank top, though? No. She also didn’t wear bright purple liquid leggings that suggested she may or may not a. wear a cup b. cross dress c. have fatgina syndrome. There’s only one thing left to do right now. And that is: DANCE OFF!

Play me


Fanny Pack and Man Repeller offer the same final piece of advice: fix yo’self girl, you got a cameltoe.

..Or try camelflage…

And you too can turn your labia into a YAYbia!

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  • ahh you beat me too it, posting the camelflage tomorrow


  • No you didn't… go way back to Fanny Pack..! Too funny!

  • Anonymous


  • hahahahahahaha a yaybia. so fantastic. you're my hero.

  • I've always enjoyed your blog and had viewed it as a pretty empowering space, but this last post was really disappointing. Disregarding the clothes for a minute, this girl is neither fat nor has a "fatgina" and I don't even see cameltoe, just a natural crease where people's legs meet their torso. She is well within the range of healthy, normal weights. So you feel holy enough to dictate whether people who have normal amounts of weight on their bones can wear tight clothes or not. God forbid one woman who weights more than a model is seen on the street wearing bright leggings.

    This type of policing is exactly what contributes to fat phobia and attitudes that influence so much of the weight anxieties and eating disorders that we see in the U.S. Commenting on her body, especially when there is nothing remotely wrong with it, rather than focusing on the clothes, is not only childish, simplistic, unsophisticated, and just plain mean, but also extremely offensive.

  • Anonymous

    Dear Abby, (Ha!)

    You're gonna need to relax a bit. I probably weigh twice as much as our beloved Man Repeller here and even I can clearly see the humor in what that girl is wearing. Homegirl just got a lil' too fancy when it came to the placement of her spandex. Namely in the vaginal region.

    I don't think anyone in their right mind could call this a flattering outfit as it lends this slender girl a bit of a fupa air. Which is what this post was, in fact, about.

    Please, take your crusade elsewhere.


  • Donny

    Ironically, Kelly House key was far from immune from sporting a camel toe herself. There was an episode where she wore blue tights with a very noticeable Cameltoe, she also had a cheerleading undershorts with a scene in the middle that gave her a very noticeable Cameltoe and her jeans walk always giving her a camel toe so for me as a boy I recognized account so as being part of Kelly’s luck and it was pleasurable to imagine the pressure against her clitoris quite frankly.

  • Andrea Moix-Campos

    wow, Leandra, I love you to bits and you give sound fashion advice, but you sound really mean in this post. the outfit is terrible, but attacking her personally in such a way seems harsh and unnecessary. I wonder if she was bullied relentlessly about her genitals after this posting. thumbs down to unkind words.