We know, Chloe wears the cherry popsicle stain look so it has to be cool. Cool, yes. Sexy? No. In fact, we have proof: In an extremely scientific survey of all men everywhere, when asked if red lips equaled babe, or boner killer, a whopping 85% chose the latter.
Keep smirking, Rouge Lips-on-the-Left. There may indeed be a man who can look past your black chewbacca jacket*, see your chopped hair as Natalie Portman-esque and ignore the turban** on your head, but your ginger friend will end up having the last laugh. Know why?
Because your red pucker is a boner stop sign.
Lip lacquered ladies, we write out of camaraderie***. A sort of ya-ya sisterhood of the traveling crimson, if you will. I personally have been known to sport red on many occasions:
See? I’m right there with you, puckering up (bad) and sporting a bow-tie/ascot around my neck (worse). And see that glass of champagne in my hand? It’s stained with lipstick and raised to you, fellow Man Repellers. Cheers.
Sincerely, Read My Lips: I’m A Man Repeller
*I am lusting over said black chewbacca jacket
**Are turbans considered asshats?
editor note: Yes
***editor note pt. 2: guest blogger RougeLip spelled camaraderie as comraderie. Asshat.
***guest blogger rebuttal: Baxter you know I can’t speak Spanish. Dropcrotch.
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