This morning I received an excited email from my fellow Man Repeller. She was about to shit her pants* because a pair of Vince harem sweatpants she’s been lusting after went on sale. I looked at the pants, then continued to browse the virtual pages of Saks.com. One too many bathing suit coverings had Aladdin and his leading lady Princess Jasmine stamped across their parachute legs. And then I thought about it: she had men fighting over her, and shit. Why wasn’t Jasmine a Man Repeller?
Her pants are so huge, her shoes curl up at the toes and she’s talking to a bird. Let’s not forget she was in love with a guy who had a magic carpet, aka an acid problem.
So I asked my co-editor and she didn’t know either (we both spent our childhoods wishing we were her.) Then, a voice of reason struck over our conversation (it may have been Jafar.) It said: she’s just an animated character from a Disney movie about the Middle East, ya freakin’ idiots.
*in the event my co-editor does in fact shit her pants before she can place the order there are important pros and cons to note. Pro: no one will know she’s actually shit her pants because they’re harem style anyway. Con: there will be shit in her pants.
…And that little snippet right there, my friends, is a prime example of what Man Repelling banter sounds like.
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