It doesn’t just look like a dick, that is a dick: a UK teenager drew a giant, 60 foot wiener on the roof of his house because he watched a show about Google Earth, naturally. It was discovered a year later and his dad wasn’t too mad.
Either a great reason to demand you get that new Dries Van Noten blazer come December, or, perhaps, further reasoning behind disliking cats: according to Icelandic Folklore, a Yule Cat will eat you if you don’t receive new clothes for Christmas.
When he wasn’t writing Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain invented the bra clasp. Do you feel lazy now?
An “aglet” is the plastic or metal part on both ends of a shoelace that you may or may not still chew on when you’re nervous.
Marie Antoinette probably had lice. Because the wigs she (and all the other fancy people of this time period) wore were held together with animal fat and wheat flour, lice were like, “This non-vegan, non-gluten free head mansion is awesome.” If you had lice as a second grader, this means you are just a little bit closer to being royalty.