Who Is This “Amelia Diamond” Character Writing About Snapchat and Lindsay Lohan?
When I came in to edit this story, Amelia had left two notes at the top. One, in brackets, that read: “Here is where Leandra introduces me like she’s Carson Daly” and another that read, “Here is where I come in, like a couple trading off stories at the dinner table.”
Now, I’m not Carson Daly nor am I particularly good at introducing people so, there’s that, but the fact of the matter is, we’ve got a new hire and she’s been on board a stealthy two weeks now! Her position will run an interesting gamut from producing content far better than my own to juggling fireflies because she knows how to juggle and collects fireflies.
What with fashion week approaching and her having to produce a huge chunk of the content that will blind and confuse you for the next two days (Jewty calls, if you know what I mean, Happy New Year!), we thought it was very important that you get to know the freak behind the byline, so, ladies and other ladies, meet Amelia Diamond.
Hi! I’m Amelia.
I may look like the redheaded Mr. Rogers in that picture, smiling at you with my “Welcome home from school! BRB time to change my shoes” face that he perfected and that I’m still working on, but in reality I’m just a regular girl in a super purple cable knit. My face is usually a bit less squinty but you know, when in Rome.
If you’ve read anything I’ve written so far, you probably have realized that I am a partial lunatic with the nose and memory of an elephant. Explorer of ankles. I’m pro-LiLo, anti-Snapchat,
a conspiracy theorist an investigative journalist and a lover of holding down the SHIFT key so that you know when I mean BUSINESS.
Other very important things you should know about me:
I would go full Macbeth in exchange for a closet full of Dries Van Noten. Horses are my thing. I text Leandra a picture of a cat every day and if you would like one too, please tell me in the comments. I am frequently cranky. Hater of peas. In kindergarten I was asked to audition for the part of Darla in the critically acclaimed Little Rascals, and turned it down.
If there’s anything else you want to know, just ask. I’m here. And will be every day when you come home.
(You’re probably all like, “Oh my god…she IS the red-headed Mr. Rogers!!!”)