Who Is This “Amelia Diamond” Character Writing About Snapchat and Lindsay Lohan?

September 4, 2013

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When I came in to edit this story, Amelia had left two notes at the top. One, in brackets, that read: “Here is where Leandra introduces me like she’s Carson Daly” and another that read, “Here is where I come in, like a couple trading off stories at the dinner table.”

Now, I’m not Carson Daly nor am I particularly good at introducing people so, there’s that, but the fact of the matter is, we’ve got a new hire and she’s been on board a stealthy two weeks now! Her position will run an interesting gamut from producing content far better than my own to juggling fireflies because she knows how to juggle and collects fireflies.

What with fashion week approaching and her having to produce a huge chunk of the content that will blind and confuse you for the next two days (Jewty calls, if you know what I mean, Happy New Year!), we thought it was very important that you get to know the freak behind the byline, so, ladies and other ladies, meet Amelia Diamond.

Hi! I’m Amelia.

I may look like the redheaded Mr. Rogers in that picture, smiling at you with my “Welcome home from school! BRB time to change my shoes” face that he perfected and that I’m still working on, but in reality I’m just a regular girl in a super purple cable knit. My face is usually a bit less squinty but you know, when in Rome.

If you’ve read anything I’ve written so far, you probably have realized that I am a partial lunatic with the nose and memory of an elephant. Explorer of ankles. I’m pro-LiLo, anti-Snapchat, a conspiracy theorist an investigative journalist and a lover of holding down the SHIFT key so that you know when I mean BUSINESS.

Other very important things you should know about me:

I would go full Macbeth in exchange for a closet full of Dries Van Noten. Horses are my thing. I text Leandra a picture of a cat every day and if you would like one too, please tell me in the comments. I am frequently cranky. Hater of peas. In kindergarten I was asked to audition for the part of Darla in the critically acclaimed Little Rascals, and turned it down.

If there’s anything else you want to know, just ask. I’m here. And will be every day when you come home.

(You’re probably all like, “Oh my god…she IS the red-headed Mr. Rogers!!!”)

  • Jessica Thornton

    Sign me up for the daily cat text….and the possibility of making friends with a MR staff member!

  • lindsey

    I like you.

  • http://www.annacroswell.com/ annacroswell

    LOVE this. Nice to meet you. Don’t love cats but already love you!

    Lauren
    http://www.annacroswell.com

  • cait

    How did you get this gig??? so JEALOUS

    • Alejandra

      She got it by letting Leandra cut her hair… Right?

      • Amelia Diamond

        HELL no. She’s not allowed near my hair.

  • Polly Daszkiewicz

    If I didn’t already love you from your previous content on here, I do now! Be my friend and send me cat pictures?

    • Amelia Diamond

      cat sent!

  • Leandra Medine

    I have a question! Do you have bunions?

  • LittleJMama

    You are so funny and you look beautiful! Please send cats! XO – B

  • Luciana Safdie

    Welcome! Loved all your stories so far, so I’m sure we’ll get along great

    Shana tova U metuka Leandra! See you in three days

  • hi_itsgabby

    wait… you’re a red-head?

  • Rebeka Osborne

    I want daily cat pictures! I’ve loved all of your stories so far and I’m so glad that you’re officially (the introduction makes it official, right?) part of the MR team!

    • Amelia Diamond

      thank you!! a cat for you!

  • Merritt W.

    Yes! This is the best thing I’ve read all week!

  • Alexa Orlando

    Amelia you are so beautiful and funny and this made me LOL a lot!!! You amaze me!!! So proud of you. Xoxoxo

  • Hudson Berry

    You funny lady

  • http://skinnydipinyouth.tumblr.com/ Emily

    Amelia Diamond..so hot right now. Amelia Diamond.

  • SOPHIE!!!

    Hi Meals, Meatloafie here with a few questions for you. First of all, is it bad that I eat about 6-8 servings of fruit a day? Second, remember that time that your heel snapped off during fashion week? I do, because pretending to be fancy and grown up for the day was real fun until your shoe blew up our spot. Lastly, does it bother you when people say “for all intensive purposes” instead of “intents and purposes”? Because every time I hear that it’s like death by a million paper cuts. Also, you failed to mention that you’re the queen of GIFs, that your horses name is URGENT!, or that your friends liken you to “lonely boy” (see: Gossip Girl) based on your weekend attire.

    • http://blog.candacestudio.com/ Candace

      O m g. Why is this the funniest comment I’ve ever read?!? I’m actually crying…

  • NOT SOPHIE

    OMG YOU ARE SO BEAUTIFUL AND WITTY AND SMART AND I BET YOU RIDE HORSES LIKE A FAIRY GOD MOTHER RIDES THE WIND. AND GRANDMA SUE IF YOU ARE READING THIS, PLEASE KNOW THAT AMELIA IS THE TOAST OF NEW YORK AND THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE.

  • uncle larry

    your teeth are so white

  • brooke ely

    Amelia GO GIRL (shift Key on). XOXOOXOXO

    -Brooke

  • Yennie Solheim

    whoa whoa whoa, you AREN’T the red-headed Mr. Rogers?! SO GLAD THAT YOU’RE HERE!!!

  • http://alissa17.tumblr.com/ Alissa Smith

    Please send cats.

  • Amelia Diamond

    I love you guys so much. Cat texts for all!

  • lululautrec

    I’d love a daily cat text. (New MR subscription service? Eh, eh?)

  • leonorjr

    I never thought of you as the red-headed Mr. Rogers, but now I may change your name to Baby Sparkles Rogers.

    So excited, and also, I MISS YOU and I am not afraid to say it on the internet.

  • Zoila

    Yay, Amelia!!!!!!

  • http://eileentheooer.blogspot.com/ Eileen

    Girl you look like a hybrid of Hilary Rhoda and Kate Middleton. Plus, you’re awesome!

  • Alejandra

    Would you also go full Amanda Bynes in exchange for a closet full of Dries Van Noten? (No pressure but this answer can either break you or make you)

    • Amelia Diamond

      No way because the that closet of DVN wouldn’t touch me with a ten foot pole!

      • Alejandra

        Your answer was better than expected… Although i missed leandra i really enjoyed vicariously living NYFW thru your post, now give me LFW.

  • Kate Rhodes

    Totes Amaze!! You’ve SO far since I saw you at work last month plus you are a revelation in purple

  • Michaela Waldmann

    Another brilliant addition to the MR team. I’d love a cat text please!

  • Kate Barnett

    Hooray for Amelia! Hooray for Team MR! Hooray for getting my hair done in fancy horse mane braids!

  • Charlotte

    WHO is your favorite One Direction member? (assuming you like them that is…)

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    Hi Amelia!!
    First off, welcome to the Team! I’m excited to keep reading more of your posts in the future! I was wondering, before joining Team MR, what was your previous occupation or internship or whatever? And from Instagram I know that you and Leandra have been friends for a while, but is there any other reason that made you take the jump and join Team MR? Have you been wanting to do this for some time? Sounds like a dream job, anyhow. Also, where are you originally from? I’m nosy — or maybe just curious! Thanks!

    • Amelia Diamond

      Hi Emma! Thank you!

      I’m from California. My resume (including both jobs and internships wayy back when) is a jumble of magazines, web and fashion pr. I made the jump to Team MR because I was ready for a change and a challenge. And because it’s THE BEST BLOHG EVAH.

      Here’s a bunch of cats for you to share with all the other awesome readers and commenters. You guys rule.

      • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

        I agree! It is, by far, the best blog/home EVER! And Hi to a fellow Californian! Sending you boat brides under the Golden Gate or beach days in Venice (or skiing in Tahoe, or so many things!)….depending on which part you’re from. Really happy that you are on board for Team MR!

  • Xavier Fuller

    AMELIA, congratulations. After reading all this, I have one question. What if you are dog lover? You know the four legged animal, similar to cat without the PURRR. It sounds more like a woof.
    Love the introudction and look forward to the many posts.

  • http://jessjoycej.wordpress.com/ Jessica Joyce

    Oh my god…more like, she IS my new best friend.

    Your Friend, Jess

  • Caroline

    I adore you. you go glen coco!

  • Stella K

    PLEASE send me cat pics!

  • Guy nextdoor

    You’re so funny bug. Love the new addition!

  • http://www.getmadcute.com/ MADCUTE

    I really like this Amelia Diamond character.

  • ItsMeD

    Never send me a cat photo. I think its important to mention that you turned down the role of Darla because of the identity crisis that led you to believe that you were Asian for an indeterminate amount of years

    • Amelia Diamond

      saving that for another article. thanks for the SPOILER ALERT, D.

  • Ludapris

    Take me to your leader! Congratulations girl, hope to get “Carson Daly-ed” myself one day!

  • weirdooo

    I AM AMELIA DIAMOND
    Haha I love your articles I relate to them so much its weird, like, I came to cogitations to inspire myself with laughs for a catwalk inspired segment on my blog called cat news and then I read that you send pictures of cats to people everyday! Like me! Ahaha weird or maybe telepathic, dunno- most likely the latter. Cats are cool. Excuse me, I’d like to make a toast to myself for being a weird internet comment person/ telepathic, then put $1 in the douche bag jar.
    …..Who am I? that’s the secret I’ll never tell XOXO Weirdo Comment.

  • Nina

    Awesome. Just awesome.

  • Kaleigh Fasanella

    laygit obsessed with you!

  • http://thedailyraz.com BakerStBabe

    I am obviously very late to the Amelia Diamond boat but I found myself this morning reading through the articles thinking, hmm someone gets me and they don’t live inside my head. And yes, cat pictures would be a lovely thing to receive…you know the special way you feel when you receive a package in the mail? Kind of like that, except you didn’t have to wait 3 days for Amazon to ship it…

  • Alma

    Nice! Finally putting you a face wich is great actually. I wouldn’t mind the cat text everyday, it will surely be fun.
    Alma

  • http://jiaachacruz.blogspot.com Jia Achacruz

    You’re my new favorite person, mademoiselle Diamond. Can you text me a photo of a cat too? :)

    ROUGH & TOUGH☯ | I`m on Bloglovin!

  • Kris Ronsin

    I am just seeing this. I love it so hard. I’m in for cat pics please, because what else is there really, aside from coffee and sh*tloads of wine. Both in the morning?

  • Arielle

    How did you and leandra meet?!