Jil Sander has left the building. I repeat: Jil Sander has left the building.
According to The Cut it’s the third time she’s left her eponymous line, and I don’t question genius so I’m sure Lady Sander has a very good reason. But in the wake of Marc Jacobs leaving Louis Vuitton and Nicolas Ghesquière ending his reign at Balenciaga, one has to wonder if these three aren’t planning some sort of larger world domination.
What if all of this is part of a giant conspiracy theory to shake up the industry and create a fashion line greater than our own comprehension?
I picture Marc and Nicolas sitting at a giant oak table in enormous black leather wheel-y chairs inside an underground cave on an island off the coast of the Norway. Marc is languidly tapping his fingers — first his pinky, then his ring finger, then middle, pointer and finally thumb, as though he’s stretching his joints and testing keys on an old piano.
Nicolas has his arms crossed but he’s sitting upright like a statue, his keen eyes fixated in a squint on the vaulted door accessible only by thumbprint.
Surrounding them are holograms of television screens showing every news station, stock market tickers and fashion website headlines, not to mention the streaming projection of Twitter feeds on the walls. Also on the walls are framed diplomas, awards and photographs (Marc Jacobs shaking hands with an astronaut, Nicolas Ghesquière at a table with Justin Bieber), in addition to archived, famed looks from their previous collections.
All of a sudden there’s a noise at the door. The pupils of both Marc and Nicolas’ eyes follow the bottom bolt as it turns counter-clockwise and suddenly, out of the shadows, enters Jil Sander.
“She’s arrived,” the two collectively whisper.
“Gentlemen,” she says, “The time has come for world fashion domination.”
But that’s just me. What do you think?
— Amelia Diamond