What’s Your Sign?

by Leandra Medine
November 1, 2013
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I’m not all that into astrology. I can barely remember my own sign let alone my rising moon or what have you, and any time someone says something like, “I broke up with him because he was a Gemini,” it makes me want to respond, “I left this conversation because you said Gemini.”

The fashion world, however, is obsessed with it. And as goes the tune of our brand-focused industry, there’s one name we trust as if she were the human version of a Kelly bag: Susan Miller.

Now, I’m not sure if you’ve looked at a calendar yet or have a dad who texts you what day of the week it is along with the current weather, but it’s November 1st and that means Susan Miller time. So along with our bagels and coffee and computers, team Man Repeller sat around and checked out our horoscopes. (I would just like to say I was forced to do so against my will.)

There were exclamations around the table of things like, “Jupiter’s moon is eclipsing my Sagittarius sun!” “Venus will be in Capricorn and is gonna amp up my charms.” “Merlin’s beard is blowing in my wind!”

I never know what these things mean. Even when Susan Miller tells me what they mean, I still don’t get it. For example, she wrote, “Saturn will be conjunct the eclipse of November 2,” and my brain fell out. She then quickly clarified, “Which only means you will be in a serious, thoughtful mode, and if you make a decision, you will stick to it – good!” My brain remained on the floor.

But I kept reading. I couldn’t stop. A few more moons and suns and eclipses in, I was fully entranced by Susan Miller’s loopy predictions. Now I think she’s my best friend.

“Alternatively,” wrote Susan, “I also feel that this full moon” — Uh oh, what moon?? SUSAN WHAT MOON? — “may bring a quick trip to a not-too-distant city thanks to the interplay of Mars and Jupiter on November 18, a red-letter day.” — Wait, I don’t know what a red-letter day is. No matter, carry on Suz. – “This aspect is a wonderful one and will be spreading pixie dust over the preceding weekend November 16-17 too as it comes to peak.” Pixie dust?? I love this lady.

Now I’ve gone back into the year’s archives and read everything she’s written about my sign. Basically nothing makes sense or fits in with my real life — or if it does it’s because I really stretched her words. But I don’t care. It’s too fun. I’m hooked, and so is my rising sun and my eclipsing moon.

But about you? Are you into astrology? Are you an Astrology Zone fanatic? Do you believe it or just have fun with it? Read yours here and tell me what your month looks like. Hopefully you’re about to get rich and fall in love or something good like that.

And not to brag, but on November 12, The Sun and Jupiter will collaborate and shower me in golden vibrations. Whatever that means.

Rabbit rabbit, mothafuckaz.

– Amelia Diamond

 Imagery courtesy of Vogue UK, Photographed by Tim Gutt

REPLIES
  • grace kane

    Ahhh ha ha ha…great:)

  • grace kane

    What I can’t deal with is when my friends who believe in astrology suddenly start acting like assholes to me every time that Mercury goes into Retrograde. It’s like, one day they’re being their normal, compassionate, interesting, adult selves, and the next day they are super sensitive, testy, and difficult. They do warn me; I’ll give them credit. They’ll say “Hey Mercury is about to go into Retrograde, so I’m feeling nervous,” and I’m like, uh-oh, here we go.

    The next thing you know, they’re handing me their hot potato.Via Joslyn Hamilton

  • @astro_lass

    Happy to do an astro-fashion cosmos-shaped roundtable (no squares). Astrolass.com

  • Erin Cullen

    I’m obsessed with Susan Miller (and also pinning Astrology-Awesome stuff on Pinterest – http://www.pinterest.com/erincullen1/astrology-zone/)

  • Nikita Prosser

    this is amazing, just last week i was frantically reading her warnings to me about retrograde. I like it, makes me feel less crazy and more…OKAy im awesome this all good!

  • http://www.tiny-gourmet.com/ Kristen

    My friends and I read our Susan Miller horoscopes every month. Then when her predictions don’t actually happen, we complain to each other by just yelling “SUUUUUUSAAAAAAAN!” (This happens pretty frequently).

  • belulopezchamba

    Actually, reading your past horoscopes gives you bad luck. Meh, I’m such a sucker for superstitions.

  • Christen

    this is amazing. had me lol-ing at my desk

  • http://www.mylittlefashionthoughts.com/ My little fashion thoughts

    That’s such a funny thing ! I don’t understand a word about astrology but I have some friends who LOVE to tell me all about it.. way to go !

    X

  • Quinn

    I feel like horoscopes are kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy, ya know? Let’s say on November 17th I’m apparently going to feel more relaxed so on that day I’ll make conscious decisions to make sure my aries’ ass is calm

  • Kate

    Woah… I just checked mine. It’s the first time I’ve heard of Susan Miller and holy crap, it’s detailed!

  • Guest

    I literally was talking about this yesterday with an acquaintance. I said I was into astrology and he knew every moon and retrograde. I was so surprised because the only I follow is the horoscopes on Refinery29. Their horoscopes keep me motivated. The guy kept going on and on informing me on things about his sign. It was interesting.

  • Abiola

    I literally was talking about this yesterday with an acquaintance. I said I was into astrology and he knew every moon and retrograde. I was so surprised because the only thing I follow are the horoscopes on Refinery29. Their horoscopes keep me motivated. The guy kept going on and on informing me on things about his sign. It was interesting.

    My sign by the way is a Sagittarius. We are fun people to be around because we do not hold grudges. We take life as it comes. Honest to a fault and act as if we do not have a care in the world. Driven and motivated to get things done is one of our best qualities. Signs that we click with are Leo, Taurus, and Gemini. Signs to stay away from are Virgo, Pisces. These are from my personal observations. Some may be different. It is almost like doing your own research project to know who are compatible with socially. For me I have been observing for 10 years and I have never been steered wrong.

    • http://alcessa.wordpress.com/ alcessa

      I’m a Sagittarius, too, and I think you’ve described us quite well. I have also discovered we tend to “see the forest but do not discern the trees” (i.e. I’d need someone to carry out my ideas – they could be good, my ideas, but I cannot prove it because I suck at doing the details. You cannot do details with 4 hooves and a bow in your outstretched hands, looking towards the sky, right:-).

      I even got married to a Sagittarius, just to have an easier life :-)

      I don’t care about daily/weekly/monthly horoscopes, but I think there must be something about the part of the year we were conceived/carried/born in (at least in those parts of the world where the weather and other things (daylight, food etc.) change significantly) … So far, I’ve had really nice experiences with some signs (I am basically NEVER afraid of a Sagittarius or Libra or Taurus but careful with some others, in the beginning and if I know their sign – I never ask, of course) and not so great ones with others, but that’s all. I always take a LOT of time before I start avoiding anyone and the reasons for that must be damn serious, so in the end, the sign doesn’t matter.

  • kforkarli

    Well with conversation about buying a house, Gemini seems to be doing it about half way through this month. So we’ll see, Susan. We’ll see. In other news I need a mammogram and have to go to the dentist (I actually do, the sent me the reminder..)

  • Kali

    “Astrologers use bell curves, so you must think of
    time differently in astrology than you do in normal life. You can feel
    the influence of an eclipse before it occurs, because energy radiates
    outward in both directions of the bell curve when an eclipse occurs, is
    about to occur, or recently did occur. That idea has kept me up at night
    thinking about all the magical ways the universe works.” ——-> This is hilarious!!!!
    I don’t believe in any astrology out there. I don’t understand why magazines and newspapers would waste their pages.

    Instead I believe my own dreams, and believe that I can interpret them better than anyone else. I use a very old dream symbols book by Gunduk Han which 984.co.kr just copied and posted on their website in Korean. Note that some symbols are different for everyone; for example, if you hate almonds then almonds in your dream might have a negative meaning than someone who doesn’t. Some kids dream of peeing because they physically need to at the moment, or something you worried about might appear in your dreams. There are many kinds of dreams, not just the symbolic ones.

    Some symbols are universal while others differ by culture. A child’s dream riding a whale might mean that she would go to the amusement park while a grown-up’s dream of riding a whale might mean meeting an angel investor. A pig in a dream would mean very different things for an Muslim and a Korean.

  • ThefashionSnob

    I am a Taylor the Fahionsnob. a #LIBRA

  • http://cleanupnicely.blogspot.com/ Lauren – Clean Up Nicely.

    “The last eclipse was a full moon lunar eclipse of October 18 that fell in the sign of Aries, 25 degrees.” Huh? Agreed. This is some language that I do not speak. Who speaks this language and how did I miss this as a language course in high school? I would have much rather taken this than Spanish.

  • http://www.fancyalterego.wordpress.com/ Heather P.

    “Merlin’s beard is blowing in my wind” needs to be made into a euphemism for something…like needing a bikini wax, or your first grey hair shows up.

  • Mina Vintila

    Well, astrology is def one of my biggest passions. It’s not as foofy as one may think, and from a scientific standpoint, planets of this magnitude that form angles and eclipses with the Earth have a LOT of impact on the human psyche. This is just pure electromagnetism, think about it! You think Jupiter (the biggest planet) has NO impact on you? Come on…I hear it all the time from skeptics and it makes me laugh! Really?! You’re attracted to a person on Earth due to chemistry but planets don’t affect you? Uh huh….ok. Anywho, I’ll get off my soapbox and say that these planets and the moment you were born have a lot to say about your personality, They affect us, but they do not necessarily control us. A full Moon means achievement, a new Moon is when we should start new projects. The Moon guides a woman’s menstrual cycles for a reason. (We’re all connected after all) :) Peace!

    http://www.treesylph.blogspot.com

  • Ali

    this just made my day

  • Lauren Barker

    I just stumbled upon this post Amelia and I thought I was the only one who loved Susan Miller this much! On the first of every month I get so excited and need to find that spare 20 minutes alone, in my own space, to completely read and re-read my monthly Virgo horoscope. I once interviewed astrologer Jessica Adams who introduced me to Susan, and I have been reading her for the past five years! I admit I don’t understand all the conjuncts to the sun or mercury retrogrades but she has been so spot on so many times and gives me faith when sometimes I need it! So happy to have found a Susan Miller fan club, because sometimes I feel like my friends think I’m crazy when I tell them my little astrology addiction. Enjoy xx

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