What’s Your Freakum Dress?

by The Writers
August 13, 2014
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freakum-dress

People love cute things. BuzzFeed wouldn’t exist without cute. But as a woman in my early twenties I’d prefer, for once, to be labelled with an adjective other than the one which is most commonly tethered to babies and sloths.

I get carded at the ticket booth of R-rated movies. At the grocery store, while buying a bottle of wine, I’ve received the same response at every register that checks my ID: “I thought you were 12!” While leaving my apartment the other day, a construction worker asked if my mom was home because he needed access to the building. I told him I don’t live with my parents.

This doesn’t even broach sartorial troubles.

When Kendall Jenner wore that pelvic-slit dress back in June, it ignited a thought process of both “DAMN” and “I could never pull that off.” I know I’m a grown woman who can wear what she wants. But when people are still squeezing your cheeks into your early twenties, wearing a dress with any kind of sex appeal makes you look like a toddler in a tiara after one helluva night.

Not cute.

I don’t have a personal desire to wear anything bandage or bodycon. I enjoy food too much and have a phobia of Spanx. But a certain icon once told me that every woman has a freakum dress, and I’m just trying to find mine.

What Beyoncé failed to divulge was that not every woman’s freakum dress looks the same. Maybe it’s not even a dress. Maybe it’s a pantsuit. Or a swimsuit. Or your birthday suit! Or sweatpants.

It doesn’t really matter because, ultimately, you look sexiest in what makes you feel sexy. I think Barney said that. Or he would if he worked in fashion and not as a singing dinosaur.

I cannot imagine myself wearing what society has deemed sexy. On any given day, I am more of a kitten than a Megan Fox. But perhaps it’s okay that I don’t have that same sex appeal. The difference is that for me, I feel confident in my favorite pair of jeans with a slouchy T-shirt, mules and a red lip instead of going commando with a pelvic high slit à la Kendall Jenner.

But to each their own.

And to each their sloth.

Now show us your freakum dress. (Or at least tell us about it.)

Amina Khan

Sexy Lady Shot by Yossi Michaeli for Luxure Magazine Summer 2013; Cara Delevingne shot by Angelo Pennetta for i-D Magazine; Flowers via Web Gallery of Art

REPLIES
  • http://tongueburnt.blogspot.com/ Sarah Elise

    I still get kids menus at restaurants. There comes a point in time when you have to wonder if a baby face is worth it. People always tell me I’m lucky and that I’ll age well and I’m like yeah tell THAT to my date who was called my uncle by the waiter!

    Mine is a pair of overalls. I feel like a starving artist and I romanticize the fuck outta that cliché. I think they make me wittier, or at least more charmingly cynical. Ultimate overall icon is Anne Hathaway in Love and Other Drugs:

  • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

    My freakum dress is a pair of shredded vintage denim shorts that look like they belonged to a man (way too big and long crotch). Whenever I wear them I feel most like myself!

    http://www.FashionSnag.com

    • Amelia Diamond

      mine are baggy white jeans that look like they belong to a man too!!!

      • http://www.fashionsnag.com/ Fashion Snag

        bahahaha, just proves that men have the comfortable stuff!

  • http://Medium.com/@hager_emma Emma Hager

    My freakum dress is straight outta the 70s. It’s got peasant sleeves, a rather Bavarian front, and a quilted (super thick), floral bottom. Whenever I wear it I pretend I am a woman with a beautiful house in Laurel Canyon. You’re welcome to stay that night on my shag carpet any night!!!!

  • Kandeel

    Freakum dress is hands down my favourite bey song (okay maybe i have a few fave bey songs) but my freakum dress are my perfect washed blue boyfriend jeans, they are literally my second skin.

  • ee_by_cc

    I have the opposite problem in terms of looking young. I’ve looked perpetually 30 years old for my entire life. I confirmed this last week when my husband and I were visiting my family going through old photos. Now that I’ve passed the 30 year mark, this has finally become an advantage.

    http://www.enduringethereal.com

  • http://shorttermstyle.wordpress.com Jenna Calderone

    A white pocket tee and an acid wash denim skirt with my military jacket and some beat up All-Stars, accessorized with a messy top knot and a neck scarf perhaps (I wear this once a week at a minimum)

  • Lauren Ann Long

    The only time I’m not mistaken as a 12 year old, is when wearing this dress.

    • http://Medium.com/@hager_emma Emma Hager

      easy, breezy, beautiful

      • Maui

        covergirl

    • Molly

      Beautiful!

  • http://www.dominiquecandido.com Dominique
  • Kelsey

    Freakum jeanz

  • jonh

    nice post !
    kemeja pria

  • nick

    hii, but i love the dress !
    sepatu pria

  • Paulina Villalpando

    I have one in black, but I think I no longer fit in it! http://www.thepaarblog.com/

  • Mariah

    I’ve been discovering that I can be unintentionally sexy. Like all the time. And that’s a slightly scary thought. My freakum dress is definitely any dress with a skirt at least knee length and very full. I’m thinking of one I recently made actually :)

    Theatricality by Mariah

  • Molly

    Mine is long sheer caftan, looks super cute on and is very comfortable. And then always with flats, I can’t walk in heels!

  • D

    Black tank tucked into high waisted denim shorts with bensimons is this baby face’s freakum

  • Brittany

    Shirt dress all the way. Mo legs mo better. Chasing Delicious Style