What’s The Sexiest Thing You Own?

by Leandra Medine
November 21, 2013
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I am only asking because I feel very committed to taking it and proving that even the most outwardly sexy article of clothing can be interpreted as conventionally unappealing to the male gaze.

Should I go first? Okay, I will.

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There is this black lace under-slip mini dress thing sitting at the bottom of my underwear drawer, almost completely unused and probably feeling like a prostitute. I believe it is not meant to be worn outside of the bedroom but one can never know. There are bikini-style triangular boob cups that are met at the chest by a small, rose gold clasp. The “dress” ends at the same coordinate that my ass begins at, and brushes against that first thigh crease we all harbor. It has spaghetti straps.

I bought it at Victoria’s Secret three years ago under the influence of a friend of mine who has cited Bethenny Frankel as style inspiration. Don’t get me wrong, the reality television queen has a body, but she wears form fitting knee-length dresses completely un-ironically and still considers platform pumps a forward thinking fashion choice (as evidenced, at least, by her constantly wearing them).

One can only guess what her bedroom-related sartorial pursuits look like.

When I made the purchase that might completely obliterate my sartorial pursuits, period, I had just gotten back together with my now husband. The anterior friend suggested that it might be a nice surprise to shock him with a traditionally sexy under thing especially considering — and I quote — how “offensive” I usually look. While offensive isn’t really the operative word that I would use to describe myself, I get what she meant and in a bout of bad judgement, I spent $40 on the damn thing.

When I got home, I tried it on and looked into my reflection. I did not recognize the idiot staring back at me nor did I want to and so considering my losses and surmising that it could have been much worse, I shelved the little dress. My partner-in-sex has never seen it.

Except, of course, for that one time he didn’t know I was wearing it: when I put myself up to a challenge and styled it beneath a mens white oxford that I took from my youngest brother’s closet and blue, polka dotted high waist Acne jeans. I threw a navy blue mongolian fur vest over the look and tried my luck with mid-heel, silver booties that buttoned at the front and therefore looked like an accoutrement pulled for Bette Midler in her role as queen witch in Hocus Pocus.

He didn’t even notice, which means I won the shit out of my self-assigned challenge and I am ready to do it again. So, do let me know what the sexiest thing you own is so that I can recreate it, style it, and blow it out into a big fat FROM MAN GETTER TO MAN REPELLER post.

Talk.

-Leandra Medine, images pulled from Pinterest

REPLIES
  • http://about.me/suicide_blond suicide_blond

    black leather “cuffs” that snap around your wrist and have rows of saftey pins ..from a 90′s goth armani moment…. never worn….

  • ours polaire

    Decided I needed to own this silk bridal waspie because 1. we share a name and 2. it looks absolutely bitchin’ worn over a rag & bone tee underneath an enormous cashmere cardigan. Dr Martens or smoking slippers compulsory.

  • kmm39

    If this is a response to that horrendous Love List post today, then BRAVO. So, so perfectly done.

  • pintiso

    A black latex girdle… full S/M style… to be worn over your clothes as a waist-clinging belt… never worn…

  • Quinn Halman

    The sexiest thing I own is my confidence! JK it’s a red lace bra from Free People. They threw in 2 free pairs of matching undies too!

    • Leandra Medine

      I LIKE THE FIRST ANSWER SO MUCH!

  • http://www.thatgirlmag.com/ clara b

    I bought a beautiful black bra when I was in Paris for the first time – when I was seventeen. It’s too ruffly to wear under anything short of a poncho, and only one guy has ever seen it. Of course, he was seventeen too, and I’m not sure he quite appreciated what he was looking at.

  • Chanell

    An emerald colored pair of high waisted Fleur of England breifs. They have garter straps attached, they are made of a sheer, stretch mesh except for the front panel that’s made of lace.

  • Iris Nguyen

    A pair of sheer black stocking with a thin black pipeline at the back. They just look so sexy with any and everything (except with sandals)!

  • http://sarahbolton.net/ Sarah B.

    I fail at being sexy. However I do feel particularly ravishing in the right shade of lipstick.

  • Natalie

    well. my boyfriend managed to win a gift card to agent provocateur (??) and for some reason that still beguiles me, chose to spend it on this $600 black corset (http://www.agentprovocateur.com/us-main-nav/lingerie/corsets-basques/info/damson-corset~black), which he then gifted to me. end of story, ever since then, i have had a $600 black corset with no apparent use sitting in the bottom of my pajama drawer.

    • Brynna

      I am basically crying over the fact that you own a $600 agent provocateur corset, and haven’t worn it.

  • kahreeen

    $13 lace bra from Target*. (*pronounced Tar-jay). I only wear it when I run
    out of real bra’s because I can’t always be (read: am NEVER) bra ready
    for sexy times, which is what these lace-type bras are reserved for. Sometimes, I’ll catch myself in the mirror changing and
    be like DAAAAAAAAAAMN MA (Chris Tucker voice)

  • Amelia Diamond

    I’m not gonna lie to you guys. I own some seriously badass bras. I have a phobia of dying suddenly and being in bad underwear.

    • http://b-tg.tumblr.com/ Colleen Garrity

      Same. My bras regularly cost more and are more chic than any of my real clothes. My mom shakes her head, my roommates curse me because I hand-wash them and hang them all over the kitchen, and my boyfriend hates it because he’s long-distance. Moar bras for me!

    • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

      Goooooo Amelia, It’s your (metaphorical) Birthdayyyyyy!

  • http://eileentheooer.blogspot.com/ Eileen

    Uh this is perfect timing cuz I’m about to drop my hard-earned $$ on some fancy bras (been thinking about it since yesterday). It makes me reconsider.

  • The Fashion Informer

    An electric toothbrush. Cause the halitosis ain’t sexy.

  • Caroline D. Gomez Lassalle

    A seriously oversized white t-shirt from Zara, it’s a little bit sheer, the sleeves are super awkward but I feel the sexiest when I wear it with my hair down and messy and my reading glasses.

  • http://www.anorexicescapades.com/ BougieHippie

    These cognac ankle strap boots I got from Balenciaga. I got a hard on when I bought them I had to wear them out the store….oh you all talking about the sexiest thing for someone else. oops

    http://anorexicescapades.com

    • EMRRR

      Ok I know that this might not be the right forum for this, but your blog name is one of the most offensive things I have seen in a long time. I refuse to click on it to see what it’s about because I don’t think you deserve the hits.

      • http://www.anorexicescapades.com/ BougieHippie

        Then why mention it? You sound like a lunatic now everyone sees ;-)!

  • runway2street

    A La Perla lacy black thong style bodysuit…AND it get’s the most use out of everything in the lingerie closet!! Btw. Leandra you should do a post on bodysuits.

  • brittany

    hell fucking yes.

  • nataliegrunberg

    This is currently the sexiest thing I own. It’s from my company panty by post. It’s super sexy, yet comfy too. Best combo ever!!!

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    My grey New Balance 574′s. No, really. I love them, and that’s really how I define sexy.

  • Sabrina Haskinson

    Funny enough I am waiting for the arrival of my steel boned black corset only to be paired with a maxi skirt and some bulky sweater from good will. Man repel on I say…

  • 1Alouette

    I’ve got an open back, full lace, tight garter slip with pastel pink long socks to sashay in. And there is lots more where that came from. I love sexy underthings.

  • Margaret

    I prefer to wear sexy bras. I see no reason not to. I feel sexiest in a denim shirt and dark red lipstick with a sexy lace bra underneath.

  • Nika

    I own a few pairs of stay-up stockings and I wear them all the time instead of tights since those are so uncomfortable around the crotch area. I feel so sexy even though it’s only me who knows what’s underneath my leather pants! And certainly when I feel confident I feel sexy.
    I once bought this amazing wet-look slip dress that has all these straps and stuff above my boobs making them look like D instead of B and I decided one day to wear it underneath my oversized angora knit and leather pants and surprise visit my boyfriend. After “it” (you know what I mean) He asked if princess Leia borrowed me this. I still don’t know what he wanted to say but the slip hasn’t been worn since.

  • ElenaG

    The super revealing Marilyn Bra (with matching thong of course) by Agent Provocateur… I mean, how on earth can you wear that in a Man Repelling way???

  • Guest

    A Black and Gold corset with the whole shebang, lace, mini crystals and black stockings. I bought it last year for my honeymoon, but felt so ridiculous that didn’t have the nerve to make the BIG reveal. After entering a VS with my hubby last month, and see his eyes pop open with every corset he passed, I had to give it a try. I did, he LOVED, I felt weird….

  • ana_kr@hotmail.com

    A Black and Gold corset with the whole shebang, lace, mini crystals and black stockings. I bought it last year for my honeymoon, but felt so ridiculous that didn’t have the nerve to make the BIG reveal. After entering a VS with my hubby last month, and see his eyes pop open with every corset he passed, I had to give it a try. I did, he LOVED, I felt weird…

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