Bad moods can’t always be helped. No matter how many friends have tried to “cheer you up” or suggested annoying things like “go for a run!,” “come exercise with me!,” or “want to play with my Tinder?,” there are days when the bad mood has already set in so deeply that nothing short of a miracle can pull you out.
But miracles do exist. And they exist in the form of really terrible songs.
You know the ones: the type of songs that you would skip over faster than a porno if someone came into the room in order to avoid being caught. The kind you lower the volume on when listening to it in close proximity to others (especially strangers) lest they catch note of that distinctive bass and figure you out before you’ve even had a chance to explain. When someone else begs the deejay to play these songs you feel required to dramatically roll your eyes, and yet you can’t help but pray the person in charge of the music actually obliges.
Tracks from bands like NSYNC or Backstreet Boys don’t really count. “Lucky” by Britney Spears doesn’t really work either. Nostalgia, as we all know, gives everything a free if not ironic pass.
It has to be a song that’s kind of current. A song that has somehow made its way to the top 40 list because a bunch of 12-year-olds are out there calling into radio stations and begging that they play it while their moms drive them to soccer practice. The songs that your little sister knows all the words to, and that are without a doubt the one-hit-wonder nail in some poor up-and-coming “artist’s” music-career coffin.
It has to be bad — really, really bad — in order to be so awesome that it puts you in a good mood. But I’m not ashamed to tell you guys mine because I know you’ll tell me yours. So here we go. Deep breath. The song that I have not been able to stop listening to on repeat for the past three weeks during my solo-mission walks to work when I am POSITIVE no one around me will hear and therefore judge me is…
Here’s me reenacting it:
I feel so much better now. Ok, as always, you’re turn!
— Amelia Diamond
Original Image shot by Benny Horne for Oyster Magazine #98, 2012