Before the dawn of Instagram and Twitter handles, there were screen names.
A screen name, coming from the viewpoint of someone born in the year 88 (20th century, mind you), was just as crucial in self-expression as the clothes one wore during those early years of the web becoming world-wide. In fact, some might argue it was even more important: the christening of our digital persona and also, the appellation that would see us through every awkward conversation and embarrassing away message.
The absolute anxiety that could overtake a person during the selection of their online moniker was known to send teens and their pre-teen counterparts alike into fits of seizures and cold sweats. It was mulled over, considered, and agonized. Creating the perfect screen name was an exercise that existential philosophers have tried to dissect for years: Who are we, and what is the purpose of our life?
Naturally the first one I chose was PunkRockPony, give or take a few “xX”es and maybe a number thrown in there.
After that, I’m pretty sure I changed my screen name once every year. It was a fresh start, a rebranding, a new me. When you’re climbing the stairs of middle school on your journey to 9th grade, don’t you essentially have a new life purpose each September? Of course you do! Or did.
With that, let’s start one giant Buddy List in the comments section. Tell us of your past screen names, or maybe some of your friends’ screen names that stick out in your mind. I know some of you had “angel” in there, or maybe, accidentally, “aNgLe.” What about its adversary, the “DeViL GrRl”? If you played a sport, that was definitely in there too — can I get a high five SoccerStar11? And why (looking at you, xXCORE_drummerboy) did we all feel the need to stick our gender into our screen names at some point?
BRB! Mom’s calling me for lunch.
LYLAS, Amelia Diamond