What is Your Anti-Resolution?
I find it borderline rude that we’re expected to begin each new year with an arbitrary and endless to-do list, penned by none other than our very own selves.
In 2013 I vowed to work out every morning, stop taking so many cabs, learn French, rebuild my art portfolio, stop going online so much, and figure out my password to the LinkedIn account I started 800 years ago then let subsequently allowed to fester before actually entering the workforce.
It is now almost 2014 and I haven’t worked out since June. I’ve transitioned from cabs to Uber, my French remains limited to $10 glasses of wine, I painted exactly one picture then sat on it, began a job where I’m online all day, and as for my LinkedIn, I’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to all of my friends and colleagues whose Requests to Connect will continue to sit in LinkedIn purgatory while I yell about schools for ants instead.
That isn’t to say, however, that I didn’t accomplish anything this year. I got a lot of cool stuff done, did some growing, some learning, and I definitely feel like a better version of myself.
It just wasn’t on that suffocating list.
There’s simply no greater feeling in the world, save perhaps for cold pillows and warm towels, than having nothing to do and nowhere to be — just a wonderfully itinerary-free day that starts without alarm clock and ends without threat of the next morning’s call time. That’s how I plan to start 2014: with no agenda.
And why not, right? After crushing the New Years Eve dance floor like it’s a glittering snowball in July, why not simply write “exist” on the proverbial To Do List of January 1. An awful lot of awesome things fall under that category, and come 2015 no one will be able to say you didn’t accomplish the resolution of existing. It’s sort of a non-resolution. It’s about not getting caught up in the details and dissatisfaction of an item uncrossed from the list but rather the joy of letting ourselves be surprised.
But there’s also a lot of fun and satisfaction in anti-resolutions. For example, in 2014 I resolve to not get hit by a car whole crossing the street. I tend to find that manageable. I also resolve to not run a 5k, to not develop a nervous tick, to not grow a unibrow and I certainly resolve to not take up the strange sport of paddle-surfing down Seventh Avenue.
Now what’s your anti-resolution? Have at it in the comments, go wild, and throw me your best one liners of that which you plan to do — or not do — come 2014. Throw some confetti in there too. Also tell me/show me what you’re wearing tomorrow night so I can copy you. Quick, before the ball drops!