My older brother, Haim, has never had a cup of coffee. Never. Not once. He is convinced that he will outlive my entire family and most of his friends based on this merit alone. When he considers this, I often wonder what the use is in outliving the rest of the people he likes.
Who would he hang out with? Wouldn’t it get lonely?
As a rule, I am a deeply selfless individual. As a result, I tried to stop drinking coffee so that if my brother was correct and it is because of caffeine consumption that everyone else dies, he and I could remain on earth together — marveling in the good old times but lamenting, in that romantic way that siblings do, about the present.
And then I said to myself, self, who are you fucking kidding? You can’t go on without coffee. (More about this tomorrow in a special installment of We Tried the X Diet.) You tried that once when you were on a running kick and it was fine at first but once the novelty wore off, you definitively concluded that life without coffee is like kale without the nutritional benefits: coarse and frustrating to digest. In order to arrive at a happy medium, I resolved that before drinking my morning coffee, I would have a cup of hot water with lemon in it.
There are nutritional benefits aplenty associated with drinking hot water with lemon in the morning: it balances out your pH levels (or whatever), promotes healthy digestion (or whatever) and weight loss (if you’re into that stuff), and often doles out a case of the morning-poops (I know you know what I’m talking about).
But after a full month and change of waking up and practically having the hot liquid plus lemon drip into my mouth before even getting out of bed, I’ve accumulated five of the most personally lucrative benefits it’s offered — starting with the fact that the early introduction of hot water to my digestive system inexplicably wakes me up.
#2: The combination of the warm water and the lemon makes me feel clean, which as fate would have it, is not fortuitous at all — lemon juice flushes excrement out of the body (chiefly because lemons promote urination).
#3: My skin feels clearer, or at least the bags under my eyes don’t seem as pronounced. This could be occurring for a number of reasons but I like to think that it has something to do with the Vitamin C present in lemon.
#4: Poopoo-party: the drink makes morning bathroom trips as easy as: 1, splat, 3.
What? I never said that!
#5: While I know the most salient benefit of drinking hot water with lemon is in what it does for your immune system (the vitamin C! The potassium! Its alkalizing when it digests, etc), I have found it most interesting that it seems to make early-morning focusing easier. I used to consume a coffee on my way out of bed while my mind was still fresh and energetically ripe with the lucid thoughts of morning’s rise only to find that the former artificial energy stumped the latter natural energy and its corresponding fluidity. Now I have at least thirty full minutes of an unadulterated concentration…I’d finish this thought but I just had a coffee.
TRY IT TOO! TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!