So…How Does Anna Wintour Get to Fashion Week?

September 5, 2013

AWrollergirl

The absolute worst possible way to get ANYWHERE during New York Fashion Week is via car. Uptown traffic crawls like a dehydrated sloth; downtown traffic like a sloth that was dehydrated, then opted to nap.  And cross-town congestion provides ample time to read all of Tolstoy’s War and Peace in a single West-to-Eastside jaunt.

We do have subways here in the city. We also have sidewalks. But, because of the evil shoes we sport during the NYFW shuffle, not taking a cab just isn’t an option. (Paying rent post fashion week-cab spree isn’t an option either, so that’s always a fun game come October 1.)

But there’s one woman who has outsmarted us all. (It’s sort of annoying, actually, because she’s also figured out how to wear sunglasses indoors without looking like Corey Hart, but I digress.) We’re talking about ANNA WINTOUR here, people. She’s never late. She never looks breathless or flustered (as some of us do after spending all of 10th avenue in a full road rage panic). And we’ve never seen her car. Not once.

What’s that? You’ve seen her demurely slip out of a black Lincoln at the tents? Or a Mercedes at Milk? You just think you have, dear readers. Anna has a body double. Everyone knows that.

So our question is: how in the hootenanny does Anna Wintour get to fashion week?

By Police horse? Chariot? A secret underground tunnel system devised and reserved for fashion’s elite?

What about in one of those Driver’s Ed cars in which she is not the driver herself, but has control over the gas and break? Or a submarine? A boat? A canoe? Manhattan is an island, after all.

IS SHE GETTING TO FASHION WEEK IN A CANOE?

What if she grows wings and flies, or has the ability to teleport?

Maybe she’s being super chill and taking the 1 train, but no one noticed because we’re the idiots riding around in cabs.

Either that, or she’s on roller blades, inline, whizzing past the crowd so fast we don’t even blink. As I learned in middle school, a skilled roller-blader knows no bounds, so she likely zooms right into each show with enough time to stow her elbow pads and slip on stilettos. (Here’s where you may have seen her body double, btw, holding court until the two swap seats faster than the skates Anna rode in on.)

Yea. That’s definitely it. But we still want to hear your theories, too.

  • Jessica Mercedes Kirschner

    Hahaha… U R the best!

  • http://sorelleinstyle.blogspot.com/ Sorelle in Style

    Apparition, of course ;)

  • Lucia Weinmeister

    Helicopter.

  • Patrick77

    on her broom….

  • louboutin
  • Oana

    she discovered the way to teleport :)

  • Lotti Asbury

    On a skateboard pulled by docile squirrels trained to react to the sound of the swish of a finely manicured bob.

    • Kate Barnett

      brilliant.

  • p.

    on a magic Fendi Casa carpet perhaps…

  • Mari M.

    On a segway.

  • Veronica Villalpando

    Gotta luv you MR. Hilarious. I, for one, think she takes the bike/runners path on the WSH with bespoke, powered-by-Google Manolos that have segway, and if need, be teleportation powers. Too jelly for words.

  • Charlotte

    Maybe she rides a tandem bicycle with Bill Cunningham

    • Kate Barnett

      i would trade all the shows in the world to ride a tandem bike with bill cunningham.

    • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

      Isn’t it pretty to think so?

  • El Efecto Caipirinha

    Considering that she totally looks like Willy Wonka, I would say that maybe she takes the glass elevator to get there…

  • Juliana Franco Semino

    She sleeps over at the show´s site;

  • Alfonso Veliz

    The devil comes in many ways and many forms.

    • Ching Llera Vilar

      LMAO! xD

  • Dani

    it’s an hologram. it’s all an illusion. she’s not really there. :P

  • Andrew

    She flies.

    But, like, with wings.

  • Elisa Stephano

    i think her hair, in reality, is a suction helmet that takes her to places

    • ash

      GENIUS

  • Grace

    Dumb.

  • Lena

    This post is so good.
    I think she uses Floo Powder from the fireplace in the Vogue office for sure.

  • http://www.thelifestyledepartment.com/ Sam @ The Lifestyle Department

    I’m calling Harry Potter -esque time turner.

  • http://madamecouture.blogspot.com/ Emma Hager

    She’s probably just not going this year.

  • Michel Ghanem

    My friend suggested that she stays in a hotel across the street. That seems probable, right?

  • Raman

    piggy back ride

  • ash

    Leandra: you see, here is the secret that all of you fashionable new yorkers have been ignoring. THE DIGGLER SCOOTER. (http://digglerstore.com/). This is the way to go people!

  • Rebecca Johnson

    I’m with the guy who said she stays across the road. Dang you are funny

  • Wadjin

    Fold up scooter