A Guide to Side (Boob)
My transition from wearing ambitiously padded bras to none at all was quick, comfortable, and somewhat subconscious. I used to chase the push up pad, vying for some sort of lift to measure up to my better endowed friends but then I began to embrace the sartorial freedom that came as a consolation prize for my boyish chest.
Although my bare naked ladies enjoyed the new view that a lack of shelter provided, those around me started to take offense at the sight of my acute counterparts. My pass at nonchalance had become an unwelcome distraction.
I found an answer in both Braza’s silicone petal pads and the more acceptable anomaly that is The Side Boob. My affinity for anything backless introduced me to the former and the latter came with the outfit’s territory.
Urban Dictionary defines side-boob as: A view of the female breast seen from a side; generally under loosely-fitting clothes. Very titillating (pun intended) and sexual without showing any overt nudity. Or as they say in the common tongue, inviting the lobby bartender to your hotel room and then pretending like you didn’t.
By no means is the piece of edge-flesh as controversial as bearing the nipple, and yet on more than one occasion the men in my life have politely asked me to “cover up,” (to this, I consistently and passionately respond, “why you wanna put my boobs in a ghetto?” but that is neither here nor there). Side-boob should be celebrated for its ability to be both sexy and tasteful. It provides the perfect counterbalance to a modest high neck and remains romantic while leaving room to the imagination.
The side boob reveal is akin to the high-slit trick favored by Angelina Jolie and her evangelists. Many of my bigger breasted friends exalt the look for being cleavage’s more unassuming cousin. And while Cara Delevingne and Miley Cyrus plea with Instagram to #freethenipple, I just want to be able to make a case for side boob without making it onto a tabloid’s fashion faux pas page.
But where do you stand — do you want to see the nipple go rogue, or are you content with the red carpet dissemination of side boob? Is the edge flesh attractive, or does it just look like the anatomical equivalent of “forgetting to tuck your shirt in”? In the words of ye olde trusted US Weekly, is side boob HOT or NOT?
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Side boob may just hint at this being the Age of Transparency in Fashion. And, if you’re trying this look, you may want some boob tape to go with it! Or, you know, forgo the type and let your Flappin’ Annies flap freely!