“So depressed. Turned on Antiques Roadshow and there it was – my very first I.U.D. up for sale.” – Joan Rivers, ladies and gentleman.
Jazzy Joan is an outspoken woman with absolutely zero filter, and while many of her comments would be violently awkward if she said them in the same elevators as the subjects of her jests, Madame Rivers tactfully keeps her thoughts…not so much to herself, but contained to an audience of television viewers and twitter followers.
She’s known for her celebrity zingers, but the times she is funniest, in our opinion, are her free association jokes where she gets a little bit weird.
Some of our favorites of her recent funny tweets include:
“Because of email and Twitter, National Envelope has filed for bankruptcy. I read about it online.” – This tweet is funny because it is such a dad joke and man oh man do we love a dad joke.
“Dear @AmericanAir: I LOVE your airline! I fly with you weekly to and from LA! But 2 wedges of cheese is a ‘choice’ and not a ‘selection’.” – To this we say PREACH SISTAH PREACH.
“Thrilled the royal baby arrived, and not early like I was. In those days there were no incubators so my mother had a chicken sit on me.” – Can’t tell if she’s joking or not here because chickens sat on us too, so….??
“Hope everyone had a wonderful summer and that you’re all having a safe, fantastic Labor Day weekend!” – And this one’s not funny but it sure was thoughtful.
Just like all of Joan’s tweets, Twitter itself is one giant feed of Christmas for LOLS, like @KellyOxford, @MindyKaling, @LenaDunham and @FashionXBlogger. There are so many more funny ladies out there doin’ their thang in 140 characters that we have to know:
Who is your favorite funny lady who tweets?
Tell us in the comments — seriously though, because we’re making this a contest of sorts. Provide your favorite funny lady tweet ever sent into cyber space and we here at The Man Repeller Comedy Hour will turn our favorite one into the the next next illustrated Twitter party.
Ready? Set! Go!
(PS. Speaking of IUDS, I have a thing for wishbone charms and a friend just pointed out they look like said form of contraception. So then I went and bought this guy because if there’s one thing I love more than a wishbone, it’s a double meaning.)
Illustration by Charlotte Fassler