Raise your left hand right now if you have finally reached that point in your life that everyone told you would happen but never seemed real because your friends, for all their endearing qualities and lovely tendencies, are definitely aliens (and you have proof). I’m talking about that point where literally everyone you know is getting engaged.
Susan Miller predicted this might happen. She suggested that many signs would either get down on their knee this February or be the ones to post the kinds of Instagrams that reference “eternal life together” with their “best friend,” and for the first time in a long time this best friend they’re mentioning isn’t…you.
(Even if the engaged person in question is someone you shared a Pop-Tart with in middle school and never spoke to again, it’s still like, hey girl — a little respect for the past, please?)
The thing about This Time in Your Life is that you’re genuinely happy for these people. Weddings are fun, love rules, everyone deserves happiness and bridal showers are notorious for having bagels and lox.
What’s annoying is that you might feel like your own digitus medicinalis looks a little naked on social media by comparison. Like you’re zero-dexterous. Like you have nothing to contribute.
Not the case, my friend.
You can put absolutely anything on that left finger yourself, post a photo with it to social media and tell the world that you said yes. The engagement ring doesn’t have a monopoly on this digit! Facebook isn’t your momma! Girl, go rogue!
If your balance is incredible, put your filled-to-the-brim coffee cup on there. If you’re always late, try a tiny watch. If you can catch an elf, get him to ride astride. Birds love sitting on fingers. So do panicked geckos. Find a baby and offer it your ring finger for once — give that index digit a break!
Go meta and wrap your ring finger in chicken. Now it’s a chicken finger. Wrap it in bacon. Pig in a blanket. Wrap it in an actual blanket! Bug in a rug.
I could go on. In fact I will….
A tire from your little brother or sister’s toy car, which makes for really easy Insta-captioning thanks to the pun: “I sure was getting a little TIREd of waiting for this ring!”
You know what they say: if you like it then you shoulda put a Beyoncé on it.
Have your cake and eat it too, which includes registering at Barney’s whether you’re engaged or not.
Nobody cages you in except for Nicholas!
You don’t know love until a tiny Koala Bear is hugging your proximal phalanx.
The thing about the peach ring, besides the fact that it gets sugar everywhere, is you’ll need to make sure you have a whole bag of replacements. Super hard to not eat this ring immediately.
The NuvaRing as your doctor never intended!
It’s not even tacky if you ask me how many karats this is. It’s so many. Will the Real Housewives of Candy Land please stand up?
The Fruit Loop ring: just add milk!
Can’t find a suitable ring? Not to worry! Find someone with large earring gauges (I suggest an indie coffee shop) and ask if you may stick your finger through their loop. They will probably say no, but that’s what love is all about: taking risks, putting yourself out there, and being vulnerable.
Remember that whether or not you have a ring on there already is irrelevant. Per the MR motto, layering is caring.
Oh! And you do you.
Photographed by Krista Anna Lewis; creative direction and collages by Emily Zirimis.