Remember that Will Smith song where he brags about how he’s going to Miami? It’s equal parts catchy and annoying because the chorus gets stuck in your head but at the same time you’re like, everyone goes to Art Basel, Will. No need to sing about it.
Well, lucky for the Internet, a family straight out of a stock photo created their video Christmas card to the tune of Smith’s Basel anthem. And in an unusual twist of fate that proves how volatile the Internet truly is, it went viral.
As I write this, the Holderness Family’s e-card has 7,484,535 views on YouTube. That is more views than this baby holding a kitten. I always thought the recipe for breaking the Internet was either to A) be Beyoncé or B) combine kittens with babies. Then a modern version of the Partridge Family, what with their singing and matching outfits and infectious happy smiles, proved me wrong.
But I’m still confused. WHY IS THIS GOING VIRAL? Why, I want to know, did I watch this 4 times and then email it to 20 people? As is always the case, this is a place to work through the things that confound, amuse and sometimes bother us, so, work we will.
Let’s start at the 00:00 mark. Immediately they cold open with the world’s most adorable toddler. I’m in.
00:04 — A familiar song begins. Strategically intelligent — the viewer instantly feels included.
00:11 — This dad is hot.
00:14 — Hot dad is dancing which also means he is fun.
00:17 — A Californians reference? That was totally
my boyfriend hot dad’s idea, wasn’t it?
oo:30 — Well, the Lola Sequence straight up impressed me. This child looks like an angel, who ran a triathlon, counts in Chinese and she’s clearly one of those rainbow loom prodigies.
00:57 — I’ll let you decide what to look at.
1:26 — Jesus this little boy really is adorable.
1:45 — When the mom shows up with her face for television and low-register reporter voice the Holdernesses (Holderni?) start to lose me. I’m not going to say it’s jealousy, but I’m also not going to say it’s not that either.
1:49 — Is the IPA drinking “hipster” Kirkpatrick’s long lost twin? Just wondering.
1:52 — Here’s where the adult bragging begins. Kid bragging = cute. Adult bragging = zzzz.
2:10 — They live in such a nice neighborhood!
2:19 — TMI.
2:29 — I get confused here because Penn is the little boys name, but it is also the dad’s name. Once I figured it out I was back on track but then it was just more bragging (humbly!) at this point.
2:43 — Call me.
3:00 — Suddenly this quirky, fun loving family — who previously, I’d thought were my friends, all of us just hanging out and dancing in our Christmas jammies — blind sights me with a promotion for their new life venture! How did that happen?! This Christmas Card is basically a commercial! I feel cheated, confused, lied to…
3:12 — But then they made a gel joke (because news anchors wear gel. Get it?) and I’m back on board. This family slays me.
3:14 — Look at Kim (that’s the mom’s name who I was originally a little jealous of) doing a funny mom-putting-gel-in-the-mailboxes-dance. LOL. She’s great.
3:33 — Man I love you guys. Group hug!
Wait. Did…I just get brain washed? Is everyone else sharing this brainwashed? Maybe it’s just actually endearing and funny and nice to see something supremely, 1950s-wholesome again. Or! Or or or, is this just a cold case of Hate Following?
You tell me.