Ask the Gif Guru: How Do I Respond to a Guy Who Just Bailed?

April 2, 2014

HilarytextIt all started this summer when a guy I’d barely been talking to sent me one of the rudest text messages I’ve ever received. It was rude in the You’re an asshole kind of way, but more than anything it was also annoying because his jab was underlined by subtly sexual and flirtatious undertones.

To quote Jimmy Fallon: “Ew.”

I’d been reading the conversation that led up to this point out loud to a car full of friends, and though we’ve heard it all before, each one of our jaws dropped. There was much discussion over the proper response; many contended to not respond at all. That might have been the mature thing to do — to just let it go, to ignore — but sometimes a text comes along so aggravating (ladies, can I get an Amen?) that it’s impossible not to reply.

I needed the last word. And I needed it to count. So it hit me: I’d send a GIF.

If a picture is worth a thousand words, a GIF, I have found, is worth about a million. And in this scenario, it had to be the right GIF. I couldn’t just go throwing Real Housewives of Beverly Hills clips all willy nilly at the guy. He thought he won. He had not. So this had to be planned, well executed, and thought out.

I nailed it. I mean really nailed it. I hit him with my champion All Star GIF of a woman that I like to call Agness: a horrified elderly lady on a gameshow, turning away from the camera with her hand on her chest like, “OH MY WORRRRD, BARBARA.” (She doesn’t say those words but you can just tell.) She’s utterly aghast.

From then on out I became the GIF Guru to my friends. Anytime someone has a complicated text to respond to, they send me a screen shot and I hit them back with a selection of GIFS, each one curated (excuse that obnoxious word-choice but it’s really never been more appropriate) to his or her specific situation.

And I want to be this to you guys, because sharing is caring and dammit, I care. So any time you have a texting query find the comment box below (on this one, or any story really!) and let me how I can help. Provide the set up, the situation, and the mood you’d like to convey, and once a week, via this here Cogitation Station, we’ll break it all down to GIF-a-Roo Town.

I’ll break the ice with one that comes from a friend who recently asked me the following:

How do I respond to a guy I’ve been seeing, who I really like, and I think he likes me, but he always bails, and tonight he bailed HARD?

You have three options. The first is Unamused Kanye. It says, “I’m pissed. But I’m also hilarious.”

photo 4

The second is Middle Finger Broadway Baby. This basically says the same thing but lets them off the hook a bit easier because of the sparkle. Perfect for second chances.

photo 1

The third is OG, Martha Stewart. This sends the message loud and clear that you don’t give a FUCK.

photo 2

Because honestly, you shouldn’t. More fish in the sea, more GIFS in my pocket, so ask away and let’s get this dance party started.

– Amelia Diamond

  • Melissa m

    i think you meant to quote Jimmy Fallon :)

    • Amelia Diamond

      yes ma’am EW thanks!

      • Melissa m

        :)

        great article btw! LOVE me a good gif!

  • Allijo

    Can we also get a post on how to send a GIF thru text? I have much learning to do.

    • Amelia Diamond

      oh my goodness yes! i’ll do a tutorial in the next one, but for now here’s what you do. find a gif (so with these ones, just drag to your desktop) and then email them to yourself. when you open the email, save them like you would an image and then you text them like an image. it’s insanely easy.

      OR, you can surf the web on your phone, then hold down on the gif you like and save it to your phone that way.

      This is for an iPhone though, so if anyone has any variations for other phones plz add here!

      • http://www.yourenotinparisanymore.blogspot.com/ Kristina

        you just made my life whole

      • Allijo

        Thanks!! Yes, I’m an Android user, so anyone with that special knowledge willing to share would be appreciated.

  • Charlotte Fassler

    Show me Agyness aghast. PUHLEEZ. I think i need her!

    • Amelia Diamond

      she is being saved for the moment when she’s most needed again!

      • arsarca

        whoa — i was going to say the same thing: AGNESS!!

  • MzHK

    I think we need to know what the douchiest text ever written was. Please share!

    • Amelia Diamond

      my dad reads man repeller i can’t!

      • http://adeliberateimagination.wordpress.com/ CJKEYS2

        say it in code!!! i WISH you could tinder message a gif!!!

      • kelly macintyre

        I’m actually dying! pleasepleaseplease

  • Kat

    Ahahahhaha, responding with GIFs is the best, indeed. But where can I find awesome gifs? For now I can use Martha Stewart for just about everything.

    xx

    Kat

    katiquettestyle.blogspot.com

    katiquettestyle.blogspot.com

    • Melissa m

      tumblr! or just google nene leakes gif… she has the best one liners and facial expressions

  • http://www.thefieldingreport.com Emily Trout

    I don’t have too many applicable shady texts to respond to, but you better believe the next time my husband pulls some ass-hattery I will come back here! :)

  • TAPEmagazine

    This is still one of the best reaction gifs all around:

    http://i19.photobucket.com/albums/b173/pejidapimp/ew.gif?t=1204847503

    • Amelia Diamond

      wow amazing

      • Kelly Scott

        that is the best GIF I’ve ever seen

  • Sully Ann

    This is hilarious! Will start replying in GIFs now all the time !

  • Joanna Pol
    • Catalina

      omg i can’t even with this XIX century gif

      • Amelia Diamond

        me too, that just changed my life.

  • http://www.dreaminlace.com/ DreamInLace

    I used to have a folder on ‘GIFs’ for kicks and this make me want to pull that old laptop out and transfer those babies! You’re absolutely right that a GIF is worth a million words! So wish you shared the one you sent the loser. And I want to know? Did he respond? Did it become a GIF-off? Details!

    xoxo
    Kelly

  • laura

    amazing

  • Darla

    Absolutely, love this article. So relevent . I must begin doing this when anyone is rude or when I just don’t know what to say.

  • MargaretInArabia

    What we Really Need is more of your fabulous carefully curated GIFs! A beginner’s library, if you will.

  • girlinmenswear

    Just laughed out loud. Brilliant.

  • eclipse90

    this article is useless in that “i will never get that 3 minutes of my life back” kind of way.

    • Michelle

      You won’t get back those few seconds you wasted writing that unnecessary comment either.

      • eclipse90

        it made me feel good about myself. i feel so much better than yours and you.

  • Guest

    this one is good for all situations

  • http://GardenArtDesign.com Simone Ewing

    Got one for someone who says you are evil and only married your husband for money behind your back.

  • Fiona
  • http://www.fancyalterego.wordpress.com/ Heather P.

    Ha…I agree that this might be the preferred method of “comeback” nowadays. I enjoy using them on friends, especially when they say really dumb stuff on Facebook. :-)

  • http://about.me/amandanudelman Amanda Nudelman

    This is a personal “unimpressed” favorite — it satisfies by perfectly conveying the emotion, while simultaneously appealing to my inner cat lady.
    http://media.giphy.com/media/5gUnOrltPvZzW/giphy.gif

    • http://disqus.com/ Steve Roy

      Notification: I just upvoted your comment.

    • Daniel Mendieta Melgarejo

      que

  • M

    this is amazing. My all time favorite…http://awesomegifs.com/2011/06/you-are-so-dumb/

    works every single time.

    xo

    M

  • oyoy
  • Daniel Mendieta Melgarejo

    jajajajaj

  • alex

    Not exactly perfect for this scenario, but this GIF has served me well. http://www.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/original-2.gif

  • Kate roberts

    OMG! I TOTALLY NEEDED THESE GIF’s.They are ,in a word,”E-PIC”!