On
from
pinterest
A Week of Dislike: Facebook’s New Thumbs-Down Feature
09.24.15

While all of New York, London, Milan and Paris were assessing the Spring trends of September Fashion Week, Mark Zuckerberg was quietly developing his pièce de résistance of this season: Facebook Reactions. “For many years though,” he said, “people have asked us to add a ‘dislike’ button. Not every moment is a good moment.” What he created was FB’s equivalent of Emojis to help express “love, awe, humor and sadness.”

Except, he clarified: “It’s not a dislike button.”

Not to be a brat, but this isn’t what we asked for. So in an effort to prove to Mark exactly why the actual Dislike Button is necessary, I tested it out in my imagination.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 1. Target: Overtly Successful High School Friends

Girl I Cheated off of in Bio September 18 at 5:34 PM: First test of Ivy League Medical School ACED! Gotta say, this wild ride is off to an amazing start and I just have to hold on tight and thank my parents, my personal trainer, my sweet boyfriend of 10 years, my study buddies — lol u know who you are!!! — and of course, myself. #blessed

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Mild guilt upon clicking. Comforted by the fact that honesty is a virtue.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 2. Target: Those Who Dislike Spelling Things Correctly

Ex Boyfriend September 19 at 3:32 PM: U kno its the worst when cabbies drive us bikerz off the road. Come on dood, its not you’re road, duche bag. Your crazy.

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Need to talk to Zuck about a LOL button. Need to talk to therapist about why I haven’t followed through with blocking ex-boyfriend.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 3. Target: Offensive Trend Pieces

Superior Women’s-Bible September 20 at 9:00 AM: Relationship Hack! Six Reasons He’s Probably Cheating on You, and How to Make Him Stay (Hint: Get dirty…but also cry!)

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Read this later, though.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 4. Target: Mom’s Online Quiz

My Mother September 21 at 11:02 PM: Congratulations! The Sorting Hat Says You’re a GRYFFINDOR! Not surprised about this one!!!!

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: No way. Ravenclaw.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 5. Target: Sponsored Ads

Handsome Farmers Who Like Bagels September 22 at 8:43 AM: The dating app EVERYONE is talking about and that YOU Definitely Really Need!

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Talk sternly to Zuckerberg about the protection of my personal data.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 6. Target: The Solicitor

My College Roommate September 23, 2005 at 1:07 AM: YO guys I know it’s been a few years since I’ve been on this old thing – who even uses Facebook, amiright? But I have a REALLY sick cause I need you guys to help me out with: my spiritual awakening. In the 5 years since graduation while living with my parents, I’ve decided that the heritage of my soul lies in India and my true purpose is to practice meditation in Pune, Maharashtra. However, flights are mad expensive so if you kind, gentle friends find it in your hearts to donate to my crowdfund page, FlyHariettHome, I’d send a million gentle blessings your way. #lifeisajourney

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: No.

Facebook Dislike Trials, Day 7. Target: My Past

Margaret Boykin September 1, 2005 at 1:07 AM: is We’re going down, down in an earlier round / And Sugar, we’re going down swinging / I’ll be your number one with a bullet /A loaded god complex, cock it and pull it

Margaret Boykin Dislikes This

Test Notes to Self: Everybody makes mistakes.

hyperlink-gif-facebook

Get more Humor ?
  • Blondes & Bagels

    This is so on the money! My first thought when I heard there would be a “dislike” button is, okay, sure, not every moment deserves a “like” because not every Facebook status is happy. I’m happy to click the “dislike” button when a friend loses her wallet or someone’s dog runs away. But this post illustrates my biggest fear – the overly honest “disliker.” I foresee a future of Facebook users disliking many a status, from the actually sad to the happy but really your perfect Facebook life is annoying the crap out of me so DISLIKE. Prepare yourselves ladies and gentlemen for some real honesty.
    http://www.blondesandbagels.com

    • Easy online work for all. Make $ 5000 to $ 7000 per month online. Visit This site for more info.rtytr…

      ========>>>>> Superbextramoney.tk

  • Laura

    UHHHHH that fallout boy lyric. SPOT. ON. This post has everything

  • AlexaJuno

    Ah, a dislike button. Just another reason for us to obsess over people’s perceptions of us on social media.

    I click the dislike button on the idea of a dislike button. META-DISLIKE.

    • Allie Fasanella

      word juno

    • zobva

      Then don’t use it. DUH!

  • The only way I can get down with a dislike button is if when disliking a status it auto unfriends that person.

    Josh | The Kentucky Gent
    http://thekentuckygent.com

  • This is hilarious. And a fun way to troll your friends. You know, in a good way.

    -Patricia
    http://thesundayusual.blogspot.com

  • Allie Fasanella

    this is sooo great. idk about the dislike button though, I think it’s just gonna exacerbate online bullying and spread negativity. the only thing I can think of using the dislike button for is when someone says like their dog bit the dust or they got mugged. although I hate it when people share shit like that. go turn off your phone and cry on the floor like a normal person. one time someone posted that their grandma died and I liked it and then I was like, “wait I don’t like that her grandma died.” but then again I could’ve just commented and been like sorry for you loss. ugh life is annoying

  • hahaha amazing. I don’t like the dislike button idea. I do not trust drunk courtney with a dislike button.

  • BK

    Mark my words, the dislike button will be the downfall of humanity

  • Annie Long

    Too many spiritual-journey-fund-me’s on my newsfeed tgod for the dislike

  • samantha anastasiou

    hahahahaaaaa

  • cindy kazanjian

    I have deleted my Facebook account and have never looked back! Only kicker is that some apps (Villoid) have their log in with Facebook account info only. . .not missing out there either, I am sure.

  • Alias Darker

    best idea ever , thank you Mark Zuckerberg

  • My Uncle Evan got a new yellow Chevrolet Camaro Z28 only from working parttime off a macbook air.original site on my` prof1Ie`

    &YYYYYYYYYYYY

Feedback