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Can We Take Back the Camel Toe?
06.25.15
taking-back-term-camel-toe-man-repeller

Imagine this: you’re walking down the street with your male counterpart and you’re both in leggings. You’ve either gone for a bike ride together, or maybe he really liked our collaboration with Outdoor Voices. Never mind the details, what’s important is that neither of you are wearing pants.

You’re stopped at a corner, waiting for the light to change while possibly drinking smoothies or maybe just standing akimbo.

From across the street, you see two individuals — one male, one female — neither clad in especially restrictive bottoms, and as you’re given the go to mosey forward, both individuals, now coming at you, shout in unison. The man commends his chromosomal comrade to your right by acknowledging his bulge, while the woman in this scene gives you a dirty face and says you should have left your camel toe at home.

Now, as far as you’re concerned, you and your counterpart, both wearing the same leggings, are quite literally walking the same road here. He’s conspicuously revealing his junk — the very appendage that facilitates the process of insemination and therefore childbirth while you, similarly, embrace the much needed, absent piece of that puzzle. Need I remind you, ostensibly a fellow woman, that it takes two disparate genitals to lay-go an eggo that gets a woman preggo, and yours is as valued, important and trusted as his is, gosh dangit. So why is it that when a man experiences bulge he is canonized as Hero among his lifting class, but when we, givers of life and takers of nothing, fall victim to the inevitability of vintage denim-fostered camel toe, we’re gross?

I hereby suggest that in addition to all the other shit we’ve spent the greater half of our foray into the aughts taking back (feminism, words like “bitch,” short skirts, nipples, bras) we consider the camel toe, too. Why? Because beauty only falls upon the eye of the beholder after the beholden has proclaimed it as such. Embrace your camel toe! Nurture it. Let it feel your resolute devotion to it as opposed to against it. Show it you care, believe you care and watch as the world begins fleeing to Morocco to figure out what shade of Essie red it is wearing.

Feature image by Hannah Kellner

The fupa can be a side effect of both mom and dad jeans. Did you happen to see this dude’s (graphically enhanced) lovely lady lumps? He’s officially been added to our Boys of Summer list

Get more Humor ?
  • I’m down, Viva la Camel Toe!

  • I’ve never thought about it like this before, but, you know what? You’re right. Camel toes are going to happen anyway, so let’s rock them and stand proud!
    xx Lane

  • Teresa

    Fanny Pack be hatin’ on the toe since 2001…enjoy ladies.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvyt0PwMX_g

    • Teresa

      I would also like to add, that if a man can hang a pair of nuts off the back of their truck I should at least be able to walk freely down the street with my lady lips in full effect.

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    • jona deonty

      In PAINnS ? ,۞ANnxiety plb? ۞, have SLeeP issues ? we got good ۞PILLLS۞ n good۞B.U.D۞POT ۞ n the ۞PurRple/leann۞ . (80Ƽ) 4бᏎ-ᏮΟ86۰] fast and reliable. 5years of shipping experience. GUARANTEED .〔805﴿ 464–ᏮО8б. only the serious. fdfdf

  • I think this sounds a lot better than getting caught trying to inconspicuously tugging and pulling at the front of your yoga pants in an attempt to get rid of it…which has most certainly NEVER happened to me. Nor was the person who caught me my boss…nope, that NEVER happened. 😉

  • HoldenMonaro

    amusing little piece and as a man i have no problem seeing your camel toe if you have no problem with me looking. but, just a heads up, men dont look at others men’s “bulge” and give approving nods of any kind. i know you cant help having a woman’s persepctive on things but men, unless they are gay, just don’t do that. just like it is general practice at the urinal to keep your eyes forward.

    • BK

      Oh c’mon you must have taken a peek at some point

      • Veronica

        This is so funny!!!

  • possibilitygirl

    This is amazing and I love it. Bring on the rompers, man.

  • Jackie @ Kleiden drew

    What the hell is that camel doing in the graphic?? Love the article by the by.

    • Amelia Diamond

      Lookin @ Cindy’s Camel Toe while simultaneously showing off her (the camel’s) toe…polish!

  • hahahaha this article is awsome. love the scenario
    …have you even seen those male-gentital-cup things they wore in medieval times?

    Dont know why I just thought of that -theres an old english commedy called black adder and they wear them #hilarious

    http://www.flightofspice.com

  • Aubrey Green

    can’t really hide it anyway.

    • jona deonty

      In PAINnS ? ,۞ANnxiety plb? ۞, have SLeeP issues ? we got good ۞PILLLS۞ n good۞B.U.D۞POT ۞ n the ۞PurRple/leann۞ . (80Ƽ) 4бᏎ-ᏮΟ86۰] fast and reliable. 5years of shipping experience. GUARANTEED .〔805﴿ 464–ᏮО8б. only the serious. dfdfdf

  • lindamruiz43

    81

  • Ana

    like me coming …. < Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far thss best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6879 this – 8 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $200 per hour. I work through this link………

    >/

  • Ana

    like me coming …. < Start working at home with Google! It’s by-far thss best job I’ve had. Last Wednesday I got a brand new BMW since getting a check for $6879 this – 8 weeks past. I began this 8-months ago and immediately was bringing home at least $201 per hour. I work through this link………

    >/

  • If Jon Hamm can flounce around showcasing his delicious lunch meat, our lady tacos deserve equal exposure on the menu.

    Yes, Beatriz. Viva la Camel Toe! Forget the Alamo and cherish the Camel Toe!!

    • Aleisha Flores

      Definitely gonna start using the term “lady tacos” from now on.

      • Not to be confused with “lady burrito” which is when several women are packed into an elevator at one time.

  • Olaf

    Came here for pics. Disappointed.

  • Patricia Davis Brown

    is there a hashtag to this growing movement?

  • Bobbb

    LEANDRA, this is supposed to be a humor column but you must have gotten a bad batch of X. So wrong in so may ways.

  • Rooftop Voter

    Well, here it is for anyone who has not heard it before: https://youtu.be/ZBIGwtyqBhA

  • C. Webster Rose

    You know who you are. Be proud of that rifle sight.

  • Whatevs

    I feel like this pic should be added to this article .
    https://instagram.com/p/5XbkA5v1Wo/

  • Jennifer

    “…it takes two disparate genitals to lay-go an eggo that gets a woman preggo…” I want to know about the exact moment you came up with this gem!

  • Zoe Harewood

    And lo, it was decreed in the East (by Angel of English Elegancy) that each Mary of the tribe Camel Hoof were henceforth to remaineth swathed for all time….in mystery, never to revealeth her great majesty….in the market place, or to be gazeth upon…by the common throng, lest mortal man…in his weakness…were sore afraid, or so dazzleth by yon revealéd magnificence that he endeth up in a (bloody great) traffic accident. Amen